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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood Life in these United States Marriage

I Don’t Do Laundry!

520774_35699356 In a show of solidarity for the union workers up at that glass company, I too am having a “sit in.” Course, my sit in really doesn’t involve me sitting anywhere, but more like I’m passively boycotting doing something here at the house. Allow me to explain:

I do my fair share of household chores with nary a complaint. I’ll wash dishes, clean windows and vacuum floors simply because they need doing, without having to be nagged or asked to. I don’t mind getting my hands dirty, or getting on my hands and knees to scrub baseboards if it needs it (course, I’d rather see CareerMom doing it, but that’s another blog post entirely), but there’s one chore that I just really do not like to do even though I know it is probably one of the most mundane and least offensive ones around–laundry.

I don’t really mind laundry in general. I mean, streaky underwear from the boys doesn’t bother me, and neither do sweaty lycra gym clothes, but what I particularly dislike is folding laundry. If there is any activity more mindless than sitting there on the floor with a huge pile of clothes just awaiting your hand, I don’t know it.

Granted, I’m not a great folder. I know how to tuck one sock up into another to keep them as a family. I’m a pretty good “whomper” of towels and jeans when they need a good straightening to get the wrinkles out. But shirts are a whole nuther issue entirely. I simply cannot fold shirts, despite military training, which included a pair of tweezers, a hot iron and flimsy Fruit-o-the-Loom brown tees.

Needless to say, anything that drags out the process of folding clothes–especially shirts–just drives me friggin’ nuts. Which brings me back to why I’m boycotting.

Certain members of my household don’t bother flipping their shirts right-side-out when they take them off. And it’s not just one person in the house doing it. It’s also the young ones who often need assistance with the removal of their clothes and whose preferred quick removal move of choice involves grabbing the hem of their shirts and pulling them, inside out, over their heads, after which the shirts are summarily tossed into the laundry without undergoing a reverse process  to turn them outside-in. This means that when I’m sitting there folding the dad-blamed things, not only do I have to fumble with them as I’m folding them, but I also have to take the time to flip them outside-in!

And THAT, my friends, is intolerable.

So, I’m boycotting. It’s a passive boycott mind you. I’m not telling anyone (but you all) about it. No, instead, I’m simply NOT flipping the offending articles of clothing back outside-in.

My new laundry motto: How I get ’em, is how you get ’em!

I’m curious to see if the point is taken.

What about you? What’s your most despised chore?

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood Life in these United States Marriage

Those little mysteries that surround children

Can someone tell me how this happens?

IMG_2627 I mean, when you remove a full diaper thing, you have to pull the plastic down and tie off another.

When I, after taking a shower and getting all nice and clean, discovered this and then had to remove all the impacted poopy diapers by hand, I found that there wasn’t even a shred of a plastic bag at the bottom. So, someone (I’m not naming names, but it wasn’t me) had to have removed the last one and then just completely spazzed on pulling another one through.

And aren’t I the lucky one for finding it?

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Dad Blogs Family Marriage

Here’s to standing out in a crowd

I like to think that I march to a different drum. That, while everyone else is going left, I go right because it’s different. I’m a fan of Robert Frost’s “Road Not Taken,”not because it’s cool to like, but because, like the man in the poem, I would rather see something unique, even if it means it’s a more difficult route.

Now granted, I don’t dress outlandishly, and I don’t listen to strange music; unless you consider groups like Enigma, Kitaro or Enya strange (OK, Cretu is a bit odd, but…). I drive a plain old Dodge Dakota truck in a “normal” blue color, and my tastes in decor lean towards traditional.

So, while I am very much a normal kind of person, in my head, I style myself as a free thinker.

That’s why I was so surprised recently when, as I stood outside my shower waiting on the water to warm up (Yes! And wasting water!), I discovered that, despite my personal beliefs about not being “pegged,” I am in fact, part of the herd, whose tastes and preferences are easily anticipated.

So without further ado, I’d like to present, my herd mentality:

Predictable tastes

My only consolation, is that CareerMom is as “unspecial” as myself.

We are, birds of a feather, which is ironic in itself.

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood Marriage

A Limerick for every occasion

It’s over. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing; or for that matter, a good thing either. It’s just simply…over.

There is so much that I could say about Thanksgiving this year, but I thought maybe I’d try and mix it up a bit.

Therefore, I hereby present, my Thanksgiving Limericks:

At my house here we held our Thanksgiving
Celebrated with joy by the living
Though some of us slept
While the rest of us swept
When the gym opened back up, I was driven!

My mom has forgotten that small boys
Will fight over food, space and small toys
When I yell, “Hey you guys STOP!”
She says, “What up there pop?
Your yelling just adds on to their noise!”

There isn’t enough hard alcohol
Stored there in the wet bar in the hall
To keep me from wishin
That my mom would stop bitchin
About the supposed economic downfall

AND LASTLY:

When the toddler is down for his long nap
Why can’t you all shut up your trap?
And stop stomping around
Like you own this here ground
Oh Lord help me put up with this crap!

Though I make fun, we really had a very good Thanksgiving. I don’t publicly thank God for my blessings too often, but I do give him all the glory and praise for what I’ve been blessed with. I hope he understands that, at times like these, I’m mostly just having a good time. I’m not really this uptight. I think God has a sense of humor too.