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Dad Blogs DIY Family Fatherhood

Hey, I ain’t runnin’ no ark over here!

image I’m a handy kind of guy. It’s not that I’m just sooo good with tools and all; more like, I’m just not afraid to try. And believe you me, I’ve screwed up enough stuff in my life that I have learned a bit about homebuilding humility and I know when to call in the experts versus trying to do it myself. Because home ownership is nothing, if it isn’t rife with constant projects that need your attention, I normally spend a good deal of my time at least walking through my basement, even if I’m not actually doing anything there.

As I’ve blogged about ad nauseum lately, I’ve been busy. I haven’t done much around the house. Plus, it’s winter. I mean, seriously…

But this weekend, what with the weather being perfect and all, I found myself with time on my hands to work on a couple of small projects (shelving in a closet) that afforded me the opportunity to spend time in my basement.

And that’s when I discovered that we have a little visitor.

Poop here. Poop there. Poop and torn insulation everywhere!

The little bugger–dare I say RAT-bastard–has apparently made himself quite at home this winter in my absence. I first found his spoor over in the corner after moving a tarp that was lying on the floor. I then tracked his movements around the wall and under the toxic waste dump plastic shelving where I keep all of my chemicals. Which wouldn’t have been so bad, except he completely ignored the 20 things up there that would have killed him, and instead ripped into a 15lb bag of grass seed. He/it also apparently wallered in it like a Sumo wrestler at a Denny’s Breakfast buffet because it too was full of poo!

So now I’m off to the hardware store to try and find something yummy that will kill the thing so that I can, in a week or two, stumble upon his little dead body while tracking down some awful new stench in the house. Good times.

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Dad Blogs DIY Family Marriage

What? You don’t like the dogs playing cards picture?

color wheel As much as I like to pretend that I don’t care what other people think, the truth is that I do. But not so much because I want their approval as much as I like the validation for my ideas. Is that different? I can’t tell, but I think so.

For a guy, I like to think that I have a pretty good eye for decorating and color. When I was single, I got lots of compliments from…um…people visiting my condo; I can match clothes when CareerMom and I go out (what few times we do), and I can even be trusted to pick up household knick-knacks on my own without CareerMom having to return them in the dead of night to keep from hurting my feelings.

Wait…

No…

It’s Ok…after some self-introspection, I’ve reconfirmed that I’m hetero!

Anyway, we’re in the process of updating our house as I’ve blogged a few times. This includes new paint, some new appliances, lighting, etc. Now, barring winning the lottery, I’m making these updates as I can afford them, which means I can replace approximately 1.2 fixtures per paycheck, or 1 appliance every 6 months (washer and dryer count as two appliances) without having to serve beans and rice to the kids for a week of dinners.

We’ve come to a point though where now that I’ve re-painted, some of the window treatments that were leftovers from the old owners, no longer “fit” the decor. Some of these windows are oddly shaped, in strange places, or have some characteristic that makes your typical “drapes with a swag” an unattractive proposition.

CareerMom’s sister hired an “interior decorator” to come in and create a design for her house and CareerMom wanted to do the same for ours. I did something similar with our landscaping. I had a guy create a plan that I could implement on my own as my finances afforded, and that’s worked out well, so I agreed with CareerMom that it sounded like a good idea. I was afraid of the cost, but the lady she’s using works for a local decorating and fabric store and so she works for one flat price–not the by-the-hour charge many of them use.

I happened to be working from home the morning the designer dropped by and CareerMom took the morning off so she could shadow the designer as she wandered around the house. For about an hour and a half, the “designer” mumbled to herself while walking around measuring walls and windows, making the occasional comment about this or that.

So now that she’s come in and mentally critiqued our house, she will go create a plan. I’m a tad fuzzy on her deliverables (and her credentials frankly), but CareerMom didn’t question it and I’m no dummy, so I’m keeping my mouth shut.

To her credit thus far, she did make a couple of good suggestions for our dining room, which I at first thought were ridiculous, but after having lived with them for a few days, have decided that I rather like, so I’m open to her other ideas. But the one thing she did comment on while she was here that got my hackles up, was as she walked into the kitchen and said, making that little pinched look with her lips and forehead, “Hmm, the older shiny brass fixtures and newer stainless appliances are throwing me off!

I held my tongue, in part because I agreed, but mostly because I didn’t want to upset CareerMom since this was “her thing.” But I really wanted to ask “design-lady” how many of her clients can afford to come into a “new to them” house and wholesale remodel in one fell swoop!?

Sure we only have one stainless appliance right now and the rest are black, but that’s only because the old black dishwasher broke and I had to replace it and wanted to move towards stainless. And yeah, the hood on the stove is shiny brass, but to update it, you have to buy a whole new hood and one like that, with a different finish is about $1,000! And I’m sorry that the perfectly operational sink fixture is shiny gold instead of a nice brushed bronze, but they ain’t cheap!

SO LAY OFF LADY!

That’s what I was thinkin’ anyway. In actuality, I just nodded along and bit my tongue.

But as she left, she did say one thing that I agreed with, “You seem to be into comfortable rather than glitzy, so my design will reflect that.”

It’s true; neither naked Greek statues nor ostentatious grandfather clocks will probably ever grace my foyer, but daggum, when I sit down at night to watch “The Office,” I’m comfortable, and frankly, that’s all that matters! (did you see Jim propose to Pam?)

Categories
Dad Blogs DIY Family Marriage

It’s My Christmas Present and I’m NOT Sharing It!

I took last Friday off to stay at home and pull old yucky wallpaper off as many rooms as I could get done in one day. I managed to remove the wallpaper in our main master bathroom common area and one of the sink/commode areas in the boys’ jack-n-jill bathroom setup. I also got a skimcoat on both to fix those massive gouges I put with my scraper and to replace any sheetrock paper that came off with the wallpaper.

An interesting note: where the steam from years and years of showering has reached the wallpaper, the wallpaper is much more resistant to removal efforts. It took me nearly as long to do the boys’ bathroom tiny area as it did to do the master bathroom area which is 5 times as large. Darn steam!

Anyway, now instead of mind-numbingly unnatractive wallpaper in our bathroom area, we have mind-numbingly stark white walls with no paint on them. And the real question is, how long is it going to take me to finish it all?
Which brings me to my blog topic for today. We’re not talking about just schlepping some paint up on the wall and calling it a day. Nossir! We’re talking about a full-scale, all-out assault on redecorating, which means:

  • new light fixtures (2)
  • new fan
  • new towel rack (beause OMG what was she thinking buying that crappy silver towel rack at Target that shows the four honking screws in the front and doesn’t match our gold fixtures? 
  • new paint for wall
  • new trim paint
    and of course…
  • new linens and such

All this adds up to mucho $$$ and even more time that I don’t generally have. And with fall coming up (any day now…hello?) I’ll want to be outside, not cooped up inside.

But what’s really bringing me down is my wife’s idea to pay for all this; “Seriously honey, this can be my Christmas present; I don’t really need anything.” And before I knew what I was saying, I responded with, “Mine too!”

Wait! What? Did I just say that out loud? What the F*? No, I don’t want my Christmas to consist of pretty red towels and hours upon hours of electrical work trying to figure out an outdated wiring code. I want clothes and…stuff!

So I’m kinda bummed about that. I mean, we did set ourselves a small gift limit to spend on each other so we will still be getting each other something, but still… What this at least does is free up money in my Christmas savings account to put directly towards the project. Hey, now we can afford the fan! Only 10 more things on the list to go!