Tag: parenting

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

Tummy Time for Baby

For nigh on two months now, our youngest son has enjoyed sleeping in his crib, on his stomach.

GASP!

Reason: When he was colicky, not even the beloved Fisher Price Swing would calm him down, but sleeping on his tummy did. Hey, you put up with a screaming kid for two months and see what levels of unbelievable irresponsibility you’ll sink to. From my viewpoint, sleeping on his tummy is a minor transgression.

I know, I know, we’re terrible parents, what with the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and all. Let me stress here that he has been able to hold his head up by himself the whole time and we never cover him with a blanket any higher than to his waist. So there’s very little chance he’ll suffocate in any way, shape or form.

Yesterday, he started daycare and they made it very clear that they “could not/would not” put him on his stomach to sleep. My wife said, “OK, but he’s gonna cry.”

And he did. However, when my wife checked on him during her lunch break, he was on his tummy sound asleep. This morning though, we were told that they got in trouble yesterday (State Law: and who the hell tattled anyway?) and that if we wanted them to continue to put him on his tummy we’d need a Dr’s note.

Really? Is this the level of government intervention we’ve fallen to? What happened to letting the parent decide what is best for his or her child? No, I’m not niaive. I know that parents have been subjected to the whims of the state for years (vaccinations, spankings, etc) but telling me how my child can and cannot sleep is a little over the top.

But really, let’s look at the reasons for this Law. Here are some quotes regarding SIDS:

  • “Exactly why SIDS occurs remains elusive.” Mayo Clinic
  • “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) is the sudden death of an infant under 1 year of age which remains unexplained after a thorough case investigation…” SidsCenter.org

So I think we can all agree that we don’t know for sure why SIDS occurs. However, to be fair, statistics also say that since the whole “Back To Sleep” campaign started, SIDS rates have declined by 38%.

But still, the “guesses” as to why SIDS occurs include everything from Electromagnetic fields, to pet dander, to vaccinations. In fact, studies show that vaccines are overwhelmingly the #1 choice for the cause of SIDS:

” A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association found that children diagnosed with asthma (a respiratory ailment not unlike SIDS) were five times more likely than not to have received pertussis vaccine.(1) Another study found that babies die at a rate eight times greater than normal within three days after getting a DPT shot.(2) The three primary doses of DPT are given at two months, four months, and six months. About 85 percent of SIDS cases occur at one through six months, with the peak incidence at age two to four months.” ThinkTwice.com

Bottom line: While I’m sensitive to the argument that sleeping on the tummy increases the chance of SIDS, I also subscribe to the theories that there is generally an underlying problem that causes SIDS and that sleeping on the tummy is not the cause.

Really, I’m more ticked about the government’s involvement. From seatbelts to my child’s sleeping patterns, they’re overstepping their bounds.

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Dad Blogs Life in these United States

Post-PGA Postulates

As you know from my earlier blog, I snagged tickets to this past weekend’s AT&T Classic at nearby Sugarloaf Country Club in Duluth, GA. For many and various reasons, no really big names played this weekend. There were no Tiger’s, no Mickelsons. Arguably the biggest name there was recent Master’s winner Zach Johnson who went on to win. It’s a funny thing about these PGA events. I understand that the players schedule which ones they’ll play months in advance, and they must pay a fee to do so. Even still, many don’t show up to play. For instance, Phil Mickelson won last week, so he decided to skip this week. I can’t say I blame him, but what gets me, are how the other player’s respond.

Now me, if I’m really good at golf, but there are one or two people better than me, and one (or both) of those people are skipping an event, I’m damn-sure gonna show up and play. I mean, if I’m playing against a field of people that I can beat 3 out of 4 days in a week, you can bet it’s worth it to me. And the AT&T Classic winner was walking away with nearly $1 million, so it’s not like it was a low-paying gig either.

But anyway, my hats off to the organizers. We arrived around 11:30 and immediately got on a bus and was shuttled to a drop-off point near the 17th fairway. Crowds were manageble along the course due to the sheer length of the thing. I mean, with several thousands yards of golf course and a couple of thousand bench seats, crowd control was pretty easy.

We walked back and forth from the 15th-17th greens, and finally ended up at the 18th late in the afternoon where the real circus was going on. Between the corporate sponsors and their bar-b-que’s and open bars, and the under-18 entitlement crowd and their trust-fund parents living it up, there wasn’t much room to do much but sit and bask in the glow of all that money.

We watched about four group drive down the 18th fairway, most opting to lay it up short rather than pitch it across the water and risk a penalty shot. There were some good moments on the green, but most seemed just glad to be off the course so that they could go grab a beer to wash down their Vicodin. Most were gracious enough to sign some autographs for the kids and that always warms my heart.

All in all it was a good day. Got there late, left there early and still home in time to help with the fussy baby. Not a bad way to spend a Sunday.

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Dad Blogs Life in these United States

Life and Those Silly “Box of Chocolates” Metaphors

In a shameless attempt at generating visits, from anyone at all, to my Blog, today’s posting center’s around last night’s episode of “The Office.” Fans of the show will instantly know what I’m talking about, but for the uninitiated; “The Office” is a tongue-in-cheek parody of office life for many of today’s White-Collar workers. Complete with eccentric personalities and a complete lack of privacy, it works because its outrageousness is based in reality.

Last night’s episode was the culmination of a season’s worth of plotlines. Not the least of which was a new job at their corporate office in NY, that several office workers were interviewing for. In the end, (SPOILER!) the least likely candidate, and the one they didn’t focus on at all, got the job. He is a recent MBA grad working as a sales rep, but who, in a year hasn’t made a single sale. His only requisite experience being, apparently, his advanced degree.

This got me thinking…until a few years ago, I didn’t have a degree and had been fairly successful in my career. I hit a wall though and realized one was necessary, and so went back and finished. But despite my having a degree now, there will always be a part of me that believes education is a poor substitute for real experience. This is why “The Office” is popular with a diverse range of people. The MBA-types will see the show and think, “With his education, he has potential and that’s what really matters.” The non-advanced degree types will likely say, “Yep, that’s what usually happens. I work my butt off and look where it gets me.”

Both are right of course, which means neither is REALLY right at all. The not-so-hidden message in last night’s episode is that getting ahead in this world is never as cut and dried as you might think. You may be well-qualified and still not get the job. Timing has a lot to do with it too.

Which of course, brings me back to, well, um, ME. I’m not sure what I’ll be doing at my current job in 2 months. Truthfully, none of us really do. I may be at a crossroads whereas, in one direction, I can stick it out doing what I enjoy doing, all the while hoping that I get to keep doing it and that eventually, doors will open. The other road leads to a possible new position doing very little of what I’m comfortable doing, but which would almost undoubtedly lead to more opportunities down the road.

What to do what to do?…

In some respects, each day is like the season finale of a tv show; full of resolved plotlines and possible new avenues of exploration. I just hope that I don’t have to wait until next summer to see what happens next.

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

Finding a Nanny Is Like Trying to Mine Gold

We recently were “blessed” with a little screaming, grunting, rooting, writhing “bundle of joy” in the form of a baby boy. My wife took approximately 2.5 months off to be with him, using a combination of disability leave and vacation. As all moms do, she fretted over having to put him in the nursery at our older son’s daycare. There’s nothing wrong with it really; it’s small and it seems that anytime you go in there, there are 4-5 screaming youngin’s. It’s just not the calm, nurturing environment you want your children put in.

But, that’s life.

But then, as mentioned in an earlier post, we found out how much the ladies at daycare are paid and we thought, “Hey, let’s get a nanny.” Great idea! (at first)

We embarked on a search for a nanny through various channels and here’s what we found:

  • friends don’t wanna give up their sitter or nannies, so don’t bother asking them for a good name
  • online, so-called “Nanny reference services” run the gamut of everything from “fresh off the plane” foreign nannies, for which you pay a premium up front, but who are generally cheaper on the back-end because they live with you, to simple classified listings that are free for the nannies to post to, but for families looking for nannies, cost anywhere from $19.95 per month, to $200 per month.
  • free classified ads like those found on Craigslist

The problem with paying for one of these online listings is that you’re never really sure if the ads you can “preview for free” are real or not. So you may see some great listing, pay your money to access her contact information, only to find out (via e-mail) that “Oh shoot, I just accepted a position this past week.”

Therefore, we went the Craigslist route and received many responses, most of which were college-age girls with horrid MySpace sites that intimated everything from drug and alcohol abuse, to an abhorrence to children. It was truly mind-boggling.

After I screened and contacted several potential nannies (yes, that’s right “I”, as in “Me and not my wife”), I showed them to my wife who just kindof hmm’d and haaa’d over a few, without showing much interest. See, apparently my wife’s first reason for wanting a nanny was to make it easier for her to get out the door in the morning, but since she started getting up earlier, rather than at the last minute like she used to do, she’s been able to get herself and the boys ready (with my help I might add) with a minimum of fuss. So, Reason #1 for a nanny…GONE!

Reason #2 for a Nanny became the whole daycare thing, and how it’s just not a healthy environment for a newborn.

So, all this time that my wife has been back at work, we’ve had two different “nannies” helping us with the newborn during the day because we can’t get him in daycare till June anyway. Both are very nice girls, but all they want to do is lounge around and watch TV. Our son, who is now 3 months old, gets almost no stimulation until we come home and take over (I work from home sometimes so I see what goes on during the day). As time has gone on, I’ve run this whole nanny business over and over in my head and come up with the following reasons why a nanny may not be ideal:

  • while cost-effective now that we have two boys in daycare, when our oldest son starts pre-K and then kindergarten, and will NOT be in full-time daycare, it will not be cost-effective to have just one being cared for by a nanny
  • given the complete laziness exhibited by both nannies thus far, I fear how little exercise and artistic activities our children will be given. Currently, our eldest son plays on the playground for almost 2 hours a day, and does at least two different craft activities, on top of learning Spanish (at 3 years old). I don’t see a nanny doing all that
  • external social interaction will be much less with a nanny

After nearly two weeks of almost no nanny searching by my wife, I recognized that it was time to bring up my points. I did it subtely one evening while watching TV, “So, what do you want to do about a nanny?”

Subtle huh?

Her reaction was much the same as it had been for the last two weeks at which point I finally laid out my reasons why I was now against it. She agreed, but still wouldn’t commit to ending the search.

Another week went by and I’ve got three nannies awaiting a callback and finally I say, “So, are we done with the nanny idea?” Put on the spot she finally says, “Yes.”

YES, YES! OH YEAH BABY, RIGHT THERE! JUST LIKE THAT!

GAME, SET, MATCH!

I’m done. No more postings on the Internet, no more searching Myspace and Google for e-mail addresses and names to see what inane postings by these women I can find. I’m done! Fini!

In retrospect, as a friend pointed out, I should have realized by her lack of desire to be the one looking for a nanny, that it had become a non-issue. A momma-bear who isn’t taking the search for a surrogate caregiver firsthand, probably isn’t really into the search anyway.

Had I let her do it, I could have saved myself a lot of time and hassle. Sometimes I’m really dense.