Beans Beans…Great for Your Heart!

I think we can all agree that no matter how old we get, or how mature we like to pretend ourselves to be, farts are funny! Come on, you want to tell me that if you’re sitting there in a crowded room, and it goes all quiet, if someone ripped one, you wouldn’t snort a big guffaw?

Well, maybe you’ll understand my predicament then. MLI is getting old enough now that when a toot comes out (of anyone), he doesn’t just accept that it’s a toot and move on without any reaction; no, he’s old enough now to rationalize that tooting in public isn’t normally done, which only makes it funny! Right? I mean, if it’s commonplace, then who cares?

Other than sex, is there anything as normal, yet so remarkably un-discussed as passing gas? And why not I wonder? Because it’s so gross? Probably.

A quick Internet search found that there are some people talking about it though. In fact, MythBusters did a show on the myth of “Do Girls Pass Gas?” (by the way, they DO) and there’s a pretty funny MySpace site called, “Coalition for Public Farting (CPF)” where they advocate making public flatulence more acceptable. So, it’s out there, but maybe still not mainstream.

Sometimes I hear married couples talk about it just as normally as might a couple of teenage boys, but I just can’t see myself ever being that comfortable around CareerMom. However, when she’s out of town, and it’s just us guys around the house, well, all’s fair in love and gas!

But, where then do you draw the line with a four year old? He’s old enough to know it’s funny, but is he old enough to quickly decide whether it’s ok to do right before he does it? I don’t think so. He also had constipation for the first few years of his life and we finally got it under control thanks to Miralax, but during that time, we read him books like “Everyone Poops”

and “The Gas We Pass”   , to try and get him to thiink about it as a normal function. Wouldn’t getting all uppity about it now be a little hypocritical of us?

Maybe this is one of those things (like discussing a woman’s age) that a person just has to learn for himself the hard way.  In fact, it’s probably a lot less embarrassing than asking a women if she’s pregnant, and finding out she’s not. Yeah, I made that mistake once.

Given that different cultures approach this topic differently, I’m curious how you folks handle this in your marriage/household. Do tell!

5 thoughts on “Beans Beans…Great for Your Heart!

  1. lumpylumps

    The husband and I kinda get mad at each other just because it’s so gross. I don’t want to smell THAT! Then there are times, when I’m feel’n wacky and I let one rip and pull the covers over his head 🙂 As far as your son, I have 3 kids. My youngest son is NOTORIOUS for running into a room, farting, and running out. He just thinks it’s THE funniest thing in the world, and man, is he a gassy child. Then you’ve got his twin sister- who never farts “outloud” so to speak but she’s the master of the SBD. I think I’d prefer to have them run in, make a loud one so I can get out in time, rather than be sitting there minding my own business and be OVERCOME with the SBD and get so grossed out! I say, “WHO DID THAT?” and she just smiles. Ewwww! Long ago, I saw that “Everyone Poops” book at the store, I picked it up and started to LMAO (for some reason, it really struck my funny bone, I had NO kids at the time), I bought it and gave it to my brother (no kids at that time either) as a “coffee table” book as a gag gift, he loved it!

    Re: I think both of these books are authored by Eastern writers…which, given the Kimchi-squat shouldn’t come as any surprise.

  2. trishatruly

    I hold ’em in so long my tummy hurts if I am with someone .
    D. on the other hand, has a healthy (read childlike) appreciation for his own farts but if one of mine slips out, he’ll make a big deal saying “DID YOU JUST FART?”

    So unfair. Maybe I will join that group you mentioned, “Coalition for Public Farting (CPF)” .

    Really? You and Careermom aren’t comfortable discussing this?

    NOPE! We never discuss it, we never do it; as far as she/we’re concerned, we’re both perfect food-processing machines that put out no by-products or waste. All I can say is, thank God for the guest bathroom!

  3. I’m counting on my daughter’s peers to discourage public flatulence one day. In the meantime, it’s pretty funny (when it’s her). Last night she passed gas audibly…she said, “Excuse me,” which I thought was insanely polite and then she went a step further by saying, “Excuse my buttons.” (She calls her butt her “buttons”…I don’t know where she picked that up, but it sounds cuter than butt.)

    Anyway, I am a proponent of clean air in the house. If one needs to take care of issues, please move to the room with the ventilating fan. My husband concurs.

    Oh, one of my worst memories at the gym occurred when somebody on the treadmill in the row in front of me was having some kind of gastrointestinal issue. I had to switch to a different treadmill far, far away.

    HA! The treadmill thing…sweet! I’ve not had that, but I have certainly been on the receiving “end” of it down on the weight room floor. And of course, it always seems that I’m the only one around, as if someone did it just passing through and suddenly I’m the guilty person. Aaah!

  4. Little Buddies Daycare

    We used Mirlax and those books with my daughter this past summer/fall when she was constipated. I think I created her fear of pooping by potty training her when she was just under 1yr old. But she is over it now and the psychological damage was short lived. At least as far as we can tell!!!
    My son will laugh hysterically when ever anyone toots. And also say “you are soooo stinky get away from me” He is getting into the potty humor stage that really annoys me. We tell him to not talk about it at the table and to say excuse me. Also that he should not laugh at someone becasue the person was not doing it to make him laugh. It is hard because sometimes my daughter will toot and then start to try to make herself repeat the action and yell “oh no I just peed when I was trying to toot” That sets the whole house in an uncontrolled fit of laughter.
    If you can;’t beat them join them…right?!?!

  5. Little Buddies Daycare

    opps I rearead that too late…..I potty trained her just under 2 years.
    What was I thinking?? We did not use elimination communication—–just normal potty training in this house.

    Loved your first comment! It sounds like your approach mirrors ours thus far. Table manners are a tough thing to sell. Telling them that something is OK at one time, but not at others is probably confusing for little minds!
    But…the Miralax saved our sanity. We got the standard, “Is he drinking enough water? Eating enough fiber?” questions for months before I finally TOLD the Dr. I wanted a prescription (needed it then) for it. Best decision evar!

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