Tales from the Yard Sale!

I sit alone in the cool, damp air. As the crickets chirp their final goodnight, and the birds wake up and whistle a welcome to the morning…

yard sale 9:36 a.m.
Whatever…so, it’s YARD SALE day. I got up at the butt-crack of dawn and started moving crap gently used items to the top of the drive, setting up tables and laying out baby clothes and whatnot. It took me all of about 2.5 hours to get ready. This is too friggin’ much work!

But so far, I’ve sold about $50 worth of stuff, so it’s all good. I got the early morning commuters who couldn’t be bothered to even park and shut off their engines. Instead, they’d race in, nearly nudging my displays over with their bumpers in their haste to find that one item they were looking for, and lacking that, they hop back in and race off.

I’ve had a few browsers, some grazers, a lady who bought a bunch of books with quarters (quarters!!). So far, the highlight has been the “just from the gym” hot-mom in her black spandex pants. I tried to engage her in conversation, but there’s only so much you can talk about before it gets obvious (and my cell phone is nearly dead so I couldn’t take a picture…)

The sun is now starting to peek up over the trees, which means that despite the cool morning temps, I’m going to have to start rotisserie’ing myself to prevent a late summer sunburn.

Come on dude…you KNOW you wanna buy that camera…

…more to come I’m sure. Let the people watching begin!

9:48 a.m. Wha? Dude just stole the battery out of my camera!! I saw him take it out, but I thought he put it back in…he didn’t! Holy crap! Who does that?

10:10 a.m. I’m holding my laptop in my lap and the fan is pulling my leg hairs up into it and yanking on them. Ouch! That smarts! (clearly I’m not busy)

11:07 a.m. Oh come on! That’s not even right. Super-hot blonde, with a foreign accent, with a slightly less than average looking dude, with a goatee. I’m thinking…mail order bride?

11:41a.m. My strategy for reducing the amount of change I get (paperbacks .75 cents each or buy 2 or more and get them for $.50 each), isn’t working. I’m gonna have to drag a lot of change to the bank when this is all said and done.

11:47 a.m. Ok, how does this work? The recycle guys came by to pick up the curbside recyclables. They have a big garbage truck looking thing and they hang off the back for quick pickup. One of the guys wanted to buy my turkey fryer. Um…even if you DID buy it, where would you put it?

12:42 p.m. Normally, I wouldn’t accept a check, but A) they’re driving a spanking new Navigator and B) they have that “look.” And if the check bounces…oh well.

12:45 p.m. Second time it’s happened today: A normal looking guy comes by, with his wife. They peruse but don’t spend any amount of time really looking at anything. Then, he sidles up to me and says, “Hey, uh, do you have any unwanted gold or anything…”Ā  I’m sorry, am I watching TV? Did you just ask me to go raid my wife’s jewelry box and hand over my gold (which is worth a heckuva lot right now) to you in exchange for a paltry sum of money? Do I look that stupid? Wait…don’t answer that.

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2 thoughts on “Tales from the Yard Sale!

  1. Talk about people-watching gold (how much is that worth?)! I can’t believe your 2/$1 book strategy didn’t work. If you were selling college textbooks, I could understand that, but who can’t use an extra fiction book?

    RE: It was fanstastic people-watching, made even moreso by the fact that, thanks to the battery stealing incident, I had to watch them all equally to ensure no further loss. It’s interesting though, the number of “oddities” one gets at a yard sale. It’s seems disproportional to the number you’d see just walking around.

  2. romi41

    hahaha….those leg hairs can be real pesky, take it from a girl who knows (LOL…just kidding, don’t tell any of my prospective suitors that, it’s a joke I swear! šŸ˜‰ )

    PS: hot-mom-just-from-gym lesson: ALWAYS charge your phone as often as possible šŸ˜‰

    RE: Hmm, I could have used it twice!

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