CareerMom and I, after much internal and conflicting debate, collected the boys and made it to church this morning. The service was full of Christmasy music and the theme was even one of debating whether or not God exists. So, it was all very holiday-serious.
Unfortunately, the preacher also preached for 40 minutes. Folks, I don’t know about you, but my attention span is little more than my 4-year old’s and after starting out the sermon by reading John 3:16–a scripture that even most Atheists can recite–my mind had started wandering even faster than usual.
But, I made it through the service and as usual, the preacher did his little altar call thing where he asks people to raise their hand if they need special prayer. It’s a sucker move see, and only new people fall for it. Those of us who attend on a regular basis know that, despite saying, “I don’t want to embarrass anyone here today,” he IS going to embarrass you later by asking you to stand up in front of everyone while the rest of the congregation remain seated. And then after you’ve stood up by your lonesome for a few minutes, he asks everyone else to stand up too.
It was after we had all stood up and while I had my head bowed in reverent prayer, that I felt CareerMom nudge me. I looked up at her thinking perhaps she was having a spiritual revival and wanted to tearfully tell me how much she loved me.
Instead, she pointed her eyes down towards the pew seat in front of us where there were two elderly ladies sitting. There was a Bible lying on the pew between them with about 1/3 of a piece of paper showing from underneath it. In a whisper, CareerMom said, “Look at that note.”
I couldn’t see much, but the words I did see, which spanned about five sentences were, in this order:
blah blah blah blah blah bras
blah blah blah blah blah pink
blah blah blah blah caught
blah blah blah black
Apparently, we weren’t the only ones having trouble concentrating.
Bras indeed!
AMEN!
Postulates & Pastimes 
5 replies on “I wonder what God thinks about during church…”
Hi there! Great blog, love your writing and the thinking behind it. I spent way too many Sunday services in exactly the same way. I’d like to put you on my blog roll. Keep writing. I’m deinitely going to keep reading!
CAB
RE: Woo hoo! Thanks for the Blogroll mention. I’ll check out your site too. And thanks for the comments!
So do those elderly ladies prefer pink bras or black ones??? (woah, I just had a mental image that I never want to have again or the rest of my life!!
RE: Dunno…and Don’t Wanna Know!!!
That’s priceless!
The best sermons are capped at 30 minutes…the pastors at my church are pretty good about the 30 minutes thing, but one of them tends to go a little long on the prayer at the end…making me wonder if it’s still a prayer, or if he switched to closing comments without telling us.
RE: I’m a little ashamed to admit that service length, more than anything else, is what’s keeping us at this church. I grew up in a Pentecostal environment and those preachers are known for 2-hour services, both morning and night. CareerMom is a reformed Catholic, so neither of us are into the marathon services anymore. By about 10:30, the gym is calling my name!
I thought I was the only one who had this heathen mentality!
Sometimes I think church can be just a time for recruitment…
Okay I hope I dont go to hell for that comment.
Have a nice day!
You know, I have gotten through a lot of church daydreaming about bras.
RE: *snicker* me too