Tag: Dad Blog

Categories
Dad Blogs Family Marriage

Here’s to standing out in a crowd

I like to think that I march to a different drum. That, while everyone else is going left, I go right because it’s different. I’m a fan of Robert Frost’s “Road Not Taken,”not because it’s cool to like, but because, like the man in the poem, I would rather see something unique, even if it means it’s a more difficult route.

Now granted, I don’t dress outlandishly, and I don’t listen to strange music; unless you consider groups like Enigma, Kitaro or Enya strange (OK, Cretu is a bit odd, but…). I drive a plain old Dodge Dakota truck in a “normal” blue color, and my tastes in decor lean towards traditional.

So, while I am very much a normal kind of person, in my head, I style myself as a free thinker.

That’s why I was so surprised recently when, as I stood outside my shower waiting on the water to warm up (Yes! And wasting water!), I discovered that, despite my personal beliefs about not being “pegged,” I am in fact, part of the herd, whose tastes and preferences are easily anticipated.

So without further ado, I’d like to present, my herd mentality:

Predictable tastes

My only consolation, is that CareerMom is as “unspecial” as myself.

We are, birds of a feather, which is ironic in itself.

Categories
Dad Blogs DIY Family Life in these United States

I’m all right, ain’t nobody worried ’bout me…

Caddyshack Gopher
got-moles

Thanks to the weather of late, I’ve not spent much time in my front yard. I also sort of let the grass grow a bit longer than I should have at the end of the season. Couple that with the fact that I thought my zoysia was just turning brown due to the cold weather and it’s no surprise I didn’t realize that my front yard had become the playground for one or more moles, until I stepped onto the turf and my foot sank nearly an inch into one of his little burrows.

See all those squiggly yellow lines on the picture there, that’s approximately where his roads criss-crosses under the ground. (“…criss-cross’ll make you, JUMP, JUMP…”) You can tell by following the really white (read: Dead) lines in the grass.mole problem

This is no laughing matter. I suspect what happened is, that once I fixed my backyard landscaping, and low-teched a way to keep the bird seed from raining down on the ground, when his food source dried up, the little booger bored his way to my front yard where the steep slope is perpetually moist and makes for easy digging!

This past Saturday, after realizing the problem, and after having stomped down more than 30 feet of my prized, yet burrowed up lawn, it wasn’t but a few hours later that I noticed he’d come right back through and dug some of it back up!

My dogs are no help. They did manage to catch a mole in the backyard once, but he was so cute, that I let him go.

Oh the poor choices I’ve made in the past!!

I have since purchased some mole grub from the local hardware store. It looks like gummy worms, but it’s laced with some kinda special poison. You’re supposed to refrain from stomping on his runs (oopsy!) and instead, poke a little hole in one of his burrows and drop the little arsenic-laced gummy worm in the hole and then hope he comes back its way and dines on the tasty treat.

I dunno…I don’t have high hopes.

I fear that, come spring, my yard is going to look line someone took rock salt and played “Island of Sodor” (“Hey mom, let’s follow the tracks!“) on my lawn.

Categories
Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood Marriage

A Limerick for every occasion

It’s over. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing; or for that matter, a good thing either. It’s just simply…over.

There is so much that I could say about Thanksgiving this year, but I thought maybe I’d try and mix it up a bit.

Therefore, I hereby present, my Thanksgiving Limericks:

At my house here we held our Thanksgiving
Celebrated with joy by the living
Though some of us slept
While the rest of us swept
When the gym opened back up, I was driven!

My mom has forgotten that small boys
Will fight over food, space and small toys
When I yell, “Hey you guys STOP!”
She says, “What up there pop?
Your yelling just adds on to their noise!”

There isn’t enough hard alcohol
Stored there in the wet bar in the hall
To keep me from wishin
That my mom would stop bitchin
About the supposed economic downfall

AND LASTLY:

When the toddler is down for his long nap
Why can’t you all shut up your trap?
And stop stomping around
Like you own this here ground
Oh Lord help me put up with this crap!

Though I make fun, we really had a very good Thanksgiving. I don’t publicly thank God for my blessings too often, but I do give him all the glory and praise for what I’ve been blessed with. I hope he understands that, at times like these, I’m mostly just having a good time. I’m not really this uptight. I think God has a sense of humor too.

Categories
Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood Marriage

Playdate Follow Up

pit children Since so many people have asked (like 3!), I thought I’d offer a follow up post to my “family affair” playdate this past Sunday.

Let me start with a free form word/thought association as the 2 hour playdate carried out:

  • Man, steep hill. Hope I can get the car back down
  • Whoa, flat backyard. Nice
  • Hi, good to see you. Thanks for the invite
  • Hmm, house layout is similar to ours
  • Man, a Sunroom?
  • Man, two fireplaces?
  • Man, a finished basement?
  • Damn, nice bar!
  • Dude, that’s gotta be at least $3,000 in top shelf liquor!
  • Man, this is a really nice place. Makes ours feel kinds smallish
  • (lightbulb coming on in head) You sold your house in Vinings for $700K? No wonder you can afford all the work you’ve done on this place!
  • Where are the kids?
  • Sure, I’ll take a Corona!
  • No really, we can’t stay too long.
  • Of course you have a Wii already? Doesn’t everyone EXCEPT my kids?
  • Um, spoiled much?
  • You’re fifty? Dang!
  • I smell poopy diapers.
  • Best get going.
  • Thanks again.
  • I can’t see a damn thing backing down this hill. I hope I don’t hit her green designer Target lawn bags!

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. We had a good time, and cut the playdate at about 2 hours right when the dad was talking about lighting up the firepit outside. I’m not sure how they saw the evening playing out, but we left at 5 p.m. Any longer and we’d have been cutting into dinner and baths and such and to my knowledge, there was no invitation to dinner.

Maybe it’s just me, but do you ever get the feeling when you meet new people that you’re being sized up as a couple for a potential “swingers party” invitation? While I’m not interested (much), I would like to think that CareerMom and I would be at the top of any swinger’s party list because we’re just THAT good looking. Much like, I’m not gay, but I would probably get all offended if gay men didn’t think I was boyfriend material (does that make me gay?).

People are funny though. CareerMom and I were both taken aback by their house, and their stories of yearly “Adult Only” trips, because one of the first times we met the mom, she was complaining about her daughter wanting a jumpy thing at her birthday party and the mom was saying how she wasn’t going to spend $50 on it.

I guess it just comes down to priorities. If it made my kid happy, I’d forgo the vacation to Aruba so I could splurge on his birthday party.

Anyway, it was good to meet new folks and their son is definitely good friend material, so time well spent.

Hey, in case I don’t talk to any of you before Thursday, have a fantastic Thanksgiving!