Tag: Dad Blog

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Dad Blogs DIY Family Fatherhood

There’s Nothing More Manly than Splitting Wood

It’s probably going to reach somewhere near 90-92 degrees here in the Atlanta area today, and I’ve spent the last three weeks splitting firewood for our coming winter where we’ll be lucky to get more than 20 days of temps in the lower 30s or upper 20s.

But beyond just some need to get out and do something manly for a change (as opposed to watching the kids or sitting in a chair at work on the computer all day), there is something very cathartic about mindless physical exertion, and it is this which has drawn me time and again to one of the two stacks of wood in my backyard these past few weeks.

To be sure there is a satisfaction one can gain from parenting or from one’s chosen profession, but in my experience, few things are as satisfying as rounding a day off soaked in sweat (perspiration for my female audience) and having something as solid as a stack of split wood to show for your efforts; even if half of it will probably go to waste since it doesn’t get that cold here anyway.

Also, for me, I get some of my best contemplating in when I’m doing something singular like cutting firewood or mowing the lawn. It is during these times that I’m most introspective, because let’s face it, you don’t really need your brain when you’re working in the yard. I wonder if Einstein came up with some of his most pervasive postulates while working? Perhaps Da Vinci was planing off a new worktable when he came with the idea for the parachute. Who knows.

But, I finished one stack and based on how things are going at work, I luckily have a whole ‘nother stack to go. Skip the gym, cut some wood, keep my sanity. Not a bad deal all in all.

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Dad Blogs DIY Life in these United States

Old MacDonald had a…container garden?

In my old neighborhood, nary a year went by that I didn’t fill up my 5-gallon bucket with fresh tomatoes, cucumbers and sometimes strawberries and go around doling them out to my neighbors. Although I had a fairly small patch of land, two people don’t eat that much and I usually got a really good return. It was always funny watching neighbor’s expressions as they cracked the door open trying to ascertain who I was and what I wanted from them. Confusion changed to excitement (especially among the elderly) when they realized I wasn’t trying to get them to purchase overpriced wrapping paper or stale bars of chocolate for my high school prom.

But, we moved last fall and for many and various reasons, I didn’t do a garden this year. Primarily because (or at least this is the excuse I’m telling myself) I didn’t know how my sun pattern would fall in my yard and I needed to know this before planting. Also, the only flat area available to me currently is at the very back of my yard and I just wasn’t sure I wanted to trek down there daily for weeding and picking.

Since I haven’t not had fresh tomatoes in probably 6 years, I decided to put a couple of plants out in containers on my back porch, where I was reasonably sure they would receive sun. After all, I can’t keep houseplants back there because they get sunburned, so I figured it’d be just about right for my maters. I also used to grow my own plants from seeds, but it wasn’t worth the effort this year for two little old plants, so I purchased some “Better Boy” tomato plants from the local home store and put them in two large square plastic pots right on the back porch.

To say that my yield was less than expected, would be an understatement. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if the National Gardening Association called me and kicked me out of their ranks. For one thing, I believe that I put too much natural compost in there right off the bat because within a week of planting them, they were showing signs of burning (too much fertilizer). Also, despite having a single hole in the bottom for drainage, both containers stayed very wet, despite a perpetual drought (until the last two weeks).

At any rate, I got one little ol’ tomato out of it, and it definitely looks more like a Roma tomato than a Better Boy, but whatever. Next year, I’m gonna suck it up and walk down the hill and plant an actual garden. Cuz…this is ridiculous.

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

In this corner, weighing in at a whopping, 32 lbs…

These days, saying “Boys will be boys” in a group of parents is liable to earn you a few raised eyebrows and possibly a mental scolding. Let’s face it, everyone is so litigiously politically correct that allowing children, especially boys, to work things out the old fashioned way is akin to burning them with cigarette butts, and just as likely to get you reported to your local children’s services group.

So, I find myself in a quandary regarding my oldest son. He’s three, and while he isn’t the smallest boy in his little daycare class, he’s by no means the biggest. There have been instances over the last few months where he’s been the target of some small amount of bullying (yes, even at the tender age of 3) and in most cases, he’s responded as society has taught us to respond–by doing nothing.

Dads, you’ll understand where I’m going with this, but for you moms, let me explain something for you. Boys WILL be boys. Boys WILL get in fights and boys WILL have to earn their place among each other. Groups of boys enjoy a pecking order that often has nothing to do with who is toughest, but has more to do with who is the most assertive. As a consequence, boys who are not necessarily assertive, often become targets. It’s a situation I happen to have a lot of experience in.

When I was growing up, we moved from our house in-town to a fairly rural area around Mobile, AL. This meant I also moved to a new school and started 6th grade among kids whom I had no history with. There were no childhood friends with whom I could buddy up to for protection. No, I was on my own. For the first year at my new school, I trekked back and forth from class to class avoiding a certain group of boys. There was also a certain boy in my neighborhood that gave me problems, although to be fair, there was never any violence; just the threat of violence on a daily basis. One day at P.E., after taking verbal jabs from one boy for about 15 minutes, I managed to put him on the ground and convinced him that I probably wasn’t going to be a good target from then on. Ya know what happened after that? Most of my problems at school with other boys just went away. And while I wouldn’t say I was best buds with my previous nemesis’, we at least had an understanding. A similar thing happened a couple of years later with the boy in my neighborhood, and after that, he left me alone too.

Back to the original point: Armed with this knowledge, I’m having a hard time being politically correct when it comes to my son. A new boy has moved into his daycare class and apparently this new boy finds my son a fun person to pick on. Now, if my son pushes the boy back after being pushed himself, he gets fussed at by the teachers. As if maybe he was supposed to either just take the abuse, or go running to the teachers tattle-telling. Yesterday when I picked him up from daycare, I mentioned that maybe soon he’ll be moved up to the next class with his other friends who just moved up, to which my son responded, “Yeah, and then maybe Aiden (this new little troublemaker) won’t pick on me anymore.”

As a parent, and as a dad, this really bothers me. I know how being a target makes a young boy feel and I would spare my son that if I could. However, I also don’t want him to get into trouble and be labeled a troublemaker. So, I’m at an impasse as to what advice to give him. Maybe I just don’t give him any advice. Maybe I don’t say that I don’t want him starting fights and maybe I don’t say that he’ll get in trouble if he gets in a fight. Maybe I also leave out that if the other boy pushes him, he has my permission to return the favor. At least that way he has no preconceived notions about what will happen if he does haul off and smack this other boy.

My other thought is to call up the daycare director and tell her that if my son comes home one more time and tells me that he got pushed by this other boy, that I’m going to give him permission to do whatever he feels like doing and if they want to discipline him, fine, but I won’t be adding to it when he gets home.

Living in fear is not fun and I’m sorry, but sometimes boys have to be themselves and work things out the old fashioned way. Sometimes violence (limited violence) is necessary. Save the peace talks for the boardroom and let playground politics rule the day!

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Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States

Who’s Ready for Fall?

Is anyone else ready for fall? I’m not ready for temps in the teens mind you, but humidity down in the lower double digits would be nice. Don’t get me wrong, it really has not been a bad summer here. Despite early drought conditions, we’ve lately been getting at least a smattering of rain each day and this has really helped keep the temperature down. But still, I’m pretty much done with summer and I suspect my recent beach trip has something to do with it.

Been to the beach…been to the pool…got my yard in order…next!

My mom in Pennsylvania might disagree. The average high in July where she lives is only 81 and when we are still hitting mid-80s in September, her highs hover in the lower 70s. Her growing season is also much shorter too, so by the time I’m “over” weeding my yard (pretty much this month), she’s only just beginning.

Also adding fuel to my fall fire, is the bevy of catalogs that have started pouring in. We got our first Halloween costume catalog for the kids the other day. That’s still like 3 good full months away! Then came the inevitable Pottery Barn fall catalog full of really nice brown-toned stuff. The end-all will be when the William Sonoma catalog comes with the inevitable picture of a warm loaf of pumpkin bread (available in-store or online) on the cover. They currently still have ice cream cones as the featured seasonal treat, so we’re still a bit early yet.

The downside to all this happy-happy-joy-joy’ness, is the fact that school will be starting up soon. Now, this only affects me in that traffic will increase, because moms down here (of the stay-at-home variety) will hit the roads with their children because they’re afraid of the stigma that might incur should their precious be seen riding the cheese-wagon.

Sigh…

I don’t know…it’s probably just because this cold has got me down and I just need a little “pick-me-up.” Fall does that for me. But hey, soon enough we’ll be seeing cooler weather and college football. I can’t wait!