I don’t try to be a mean looking person, and in fact, despite years of purposefully ignoring people around me when I’m at the gym, the mall, the grocery store, etc., I’m pretty sure I’m about the least mean looking person on the planet–except for maybe Mike Myers (of SNL, not Halloween cuz that dudes’ creepy!).
One thing I’ve noticed though, since having kids and since I’ve started hanging around kid-populated places, is that I attract kids like a flea to a heating pad wrapped around a glass bottle with fly tape wrapped around it (try it if you ever have a flea problem; it works!).
For instance, this past week at the pool, no fewer than three kids latched onto me like I was their daddy, or some long lost uncle who was about to kick the bucket and had $100 million to divide up in my will. Happened today again at the soft play area at the mall. I was on the floor trying to give MLE some attention and another little boy got right in my face and just stared at me with this little half smile.
And for some reason, I always feel weird when this happens. And not in a “Hey look everyone! I’m about to molest this child” kinda weird, but more like, “Why is this kid talking to me like he/she knows me and what are his/her parents thinking about me right now?”
It creeps me out…yeah, in a “Halloween” Michael Myers kinda way!
I can’t figure out if it’s just that these kids’ parents are off gabbing away with their homeys and not paying their children any attention and so the kid latches onto the first semi-friendly adult face they can find, or if maybe I smell like vanilla and spice like one of those Lamaze Octotunes thingies and it just drives the chillun wild!
Now if I was a really religious person, I might think, “Hey maybe the LORD is trying to tell me something,” but then I remember the old saying that the Lord would never give a person more than they can handle, and I know for certain the Lord is NOT telling me to be a full-time teacher, or child care-giver or anything of that nature because I’m quite certain I could not handle that.
But, is it just me? Does this happen to you too?
Postulates & Pastimes 
As a general rule I seem to frighten children, so I coudln’t tell you…but let me just say regarding this:
“And not in a “Hey look everyone! I’m about to molest this child” kinda weird,”
Hahahaha….best frickin’ line 😉
RE: Yes, and sadly, because of the inclusion of the word “molest,” this entry will probably garner more interest than all my others combined thanks to the wonders of keyword searches!
This rarely happens to me as I do my best to give a leave-me-alone vibe to strangers. My husband, on the other hand, is a people/kid magnet. He always gets hit up by the mall lotion sellers and I keep on moving. He also ends up in lengthy conversations with cashiers.
Speaking of the molest thing, while playing on the mall’s indoor playground with the imp, a girl he didn’t know came up and sat in his lap and put her hand on his leg. It was a little odd. He fixed that situation pretty quickly.
Happens to me allllllll the time.
Kids smell the daycare lady on me and run to me like flies to sh@#.
I tend to bet the go to person at all parties that involve children. If a child needs more drink, food, help going potty, help tying a shoe, ANYTHING they will pass over mom and dad to request my services.
I think I am going to start charging an hourly rate to the host whenever we go to a place with children.
It is annoying especially when we leave our children at home. One time I was at a non-child party and I ended up holding the hosts baby allll night long (he was supposed to be sleeping but had a ear infections so was up unexpectedly).
I think parents think I want their stinking babies all the time too!!
Must be a job hazard!!
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