In just a few years, I will be neither young, nor hip

Old pantsThere comes a time in every man’s life when, either by his own acknowledgment or by the subtle musings of his spouse, he realizes that perhaps it’s time to refresh the old wardrobe. This is not an easy thing for men, for we often labor under the belief that while our bodies may have changed over the years, styles have not.

I came to this conclusion while ironing some pants the other day for work. I had just flipped them over and was pressing the crap out of the iron in a vain attempt at trying to press out a previous crease. You know what I’m talking about…it’s nearly impossible to crease your pants in the same place every time. Anyway, I noticed that each of the “old creases” was now a permanently shiny line in the fabric that was quite visible to the naked eye.

Oh, this will just not do. I mean, I’m not the most fashion-wise man on the block, but I’ve always prided myself on dressing fairly well and I do buy new clothes from time to time. Still, I wasn’t quite sure how this had happened. I thought I was more diligent than this.

Getting a tad apprehensive, I went into my closet and with a critical eye, looked over my options and realized, “Hmmm, this isn’t good.” Not only were my slacks in bad shape, but there were very few nice button-downs left. Mostly, I had golf shirts and jeans.

See, in my industry–high tech and IT stuff–the peons don’t get dressed up. Oh, people like myself are a fashionable step above the guys who write the code and design the products, but still; we don’t meet with customers and on any given day, nobody cares whether we have on jeans or slacks. So, the only times I really get dressed up are for church, Christmas parties, weddings, and the like.

As CareerMom and I were deciding where to go and what to do for our big 9th Anniversary night out, I mentioned my needing new clothes. You should have seen her eyes light up; which got me to wondering how much worse was the situation than even I suspected?

After dinner at a really nice sushi/seafood/steak restaurant called “Goldfish“, we walked over to the mall heading towards Macy’s. As we neared the entrance, CareerMom asked, “Have you ever tried on any pants from Banana Republic?”

I started to guffaw something about metrosexuals but then caught myself and instead said, “Nope, wanna look?”

The excitement on her face said it all, so inside we went.

Now, I generally avoid trendy clothing stores like Banana Republic and Gap, because A) I think they are way overpriced, B) They are geared towards men much…um…leaner and less muscled than I and C) Because they tend to sell flat front pants and I’m a “pleat” kinda guy. I’ve seen too many overweight fellas trying to pull off the flat front pant look and it’s just not pretty. Not that I’m overweight, but I’m no Ryan Reynolds (did you see his physique in Blade 3?) so I didn’t wanna be that guy.

Anyway, CareerMom pulled out several pants for me to try on and I must admit, despite the flatness of the front of the pant and all, with a nice button-down, I looked pretty good. And because she was so excited and liked the way it looked, I “let” her buy me a pair.

And then I went over to Macy’s and bought some with pleats. Hey, what can I say?

8 thoughts on “In just a few years, I will be neither young, nor hip

  1. Great Post!

    I don’t know if you have ever gone back in some of my older posts, but you may enjoy THIS ONE (link)… It is about a unexpected clothes shopping trip from OUR anniversary in 2007…

    How oddly “simpatico”…
    (cuing music from “The Twilight Zone”)….

    How about some photos from the fashion runway??

    RE: THERE WILL BE NO PHOTOS! Mostly cuz we didn’t take any! HA!
    But, regarding your link: HA HA! Too perfect! What I think is the most humorous here, is the fact that our wives CLEARLY saw this before we did! And truthfully, I’m not one to eschew spending money on clothing. I guess, like you, it’s just been a matter of not needing them but every so often; therefore I never noticed the attrition rate.

    Thanks for linking to this post!

  2. Pleats? Really? I know that’s a fashion-don’t for women, but never really thought about it for men. I’d laugh my ass off if Josh wore pleated pants, but that’s because it is just so not him. I really am clueless about men’s clothing though. I’m pretty clueless about women’s fashion too, actually. I’m just not into it. I’m imagine CareerMom is very good at that sort of thing!

  3. I am ALL ABOUT the pleats. I don’t know why I feel all self-conscious about it, but I have one pair of pants (that someone else convinced me to buy) that are flat-front. I must look down 20 times an hour just to make sure…well that they are still not tenting out–if that’s subtle enough.

    Honestly, I get a lot of compliments in the, but I still feel uncomfortable wearing them.

    RE: I thought to myself yesterday, “Why don’t I like the flat front look? I mean, jeans don’t have pleats and I’m fine in them. I don’t have an answer for that. So, while I’m wearing them, I’m going to pretend I have on jeans and try not to look down too often wondering if the pockets are flaring out like that guy’s on “Queer Eye…”

  4. ExMi

    yup, my boyfriend bought his first Grown Up Pants the other day too. I dont think they had pleats, but they weren’t his usual camo cargo pants, so it’s a start!

    RE: I chuckled about the “Grown Up Pants” thing all afternoon!

  5. I haven’t bought clothes for myself for about 10 years. I demonstrated early in our marriage that I cannot be trusted to buy unembarrasing clothing. And since, my wife enjoys clothes shopping as much as yours, I just let her. I look much better that way anyway.

    RE: HA! I would probably be happy rolling that way too, except I’m too picky to let her do it without my approval. She would be forever taking stuff back, unless I’m there with her. But, I may have to stop doing this “piecemeal” shopping thing and just let it accrue until I have to go major shopping; at which point, I’ll just take her with me. This will require some more thinking time…

  6. I’m very jealous…I have to wait until vacations to be able to shop in a Banana Republic Store. (I’m a terrible online shopper.) I’ve asked about the possibility of my town getting one…and was basically laughed away for being too small of a market. You’re not overweight– for for flat front!

    RE: I’ll only buy underwear and shirts online. Pants? No way! But, no Banana Republic in your town? Wow! I don’t generally shop there, but here in Atlanta, you can’t go to a mall without seeing one. Weird!

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