On the eve of the birth of my third (and last) child, I’m feeling a lot of different things. Strangely, what I’m NOT feeling is excitement. And I feel bad about that. I’m not sure if the lack of anxiety is causing me to feel that I’m more “whatever” about this child, or if I’m genuinely NOT looking forward to the forseeable future. It’s true though; I can’t imagine how we’re going to juggle a third child. Not financially. Not from a scheduling standpoint. Not any way actually.

People do it I know and we’ll figure it out too, but I feel that I’ve come to a turning point in my life. Up until now I’ve been able to pretty much juggle things well enough to still do the things that I want to do—the gym, going into and getting out of work early, etc. But now, I think it’s decision time. Lately I’ve been really asking myself if I’m ready to be “average guy Joe.” Am I ready to give up trying to keep myself fit and trim in order to be able to meet the scheduling demands of three kids? Am I prepared to work 9-5 so that I can help my wife get the kids to school in the morning? Am I prepared to stop having ANY free time at all so I can give my kids all the things they need to succeed in this world?

It’s a lot to come to grips with. And I’m not sure that I have, which might explain this…lack of feeling I have. Maybe it’ll hit me tomorrow at the hospital, or maybe it’ll hit me in several months when my little girl locks eyes with me in an unexpected moment of baby clarity. We’ll see.