Author: Chris Souther

Chris joined the Air Force out of high school. After four years of supporting communications for the Department of Defense, the White House, and stations around the world, he left the military and moved to Atlanta. For the next six years, Chris continued working in the telecom field, eventually traveling around the country teaching companies like MCI, Nortel Networks, and Cabletron, how to do what he did.

When the dot.com crash happened, upon recommendation from his wife, Chris re-enrolled in school and earned his B.S. in Communications (PR & Marketing).

Since then, he was worked in network security, healthcare, banking and finance (and FinTech), general high tech (AI/ML, Cloud, IoT), and most recently, application development fields. Now, with more than 15 years of both Marketing and Communications under his belt, he helps organizations grow their business through the proper application of marketing, communications, and content.

And he blogs on the side. It keeps him sane.

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Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States

The Bachelor Pad Diaries – Day 1

image Day 1: Yesterday was tough because CareerMom left at noon, and while I was at the office, I received a call from Daycare that MLE had suffered another bout of mystery “bites” whilst napping. This was twice now that while asleep, he was apparently eaten up by bugs. I had already spoken with the daycare and he was the only one on both occasions affected. They sprayed down all the cots; verified that all sheets had been washed, etc. Honestly, it looked like flea bites, but fleas are pretty obvious so I figured it wasn’t that.

Since they had done their due diligence, I figured it was my turn. So, I left work and scrambled to Daycare and got him to the Dr.’s office by 4 p.m. After giving him a complete examination (minus a body cavity search), the doctor proclaimed, “Hives. He’s got ’em and chances are you’ll never figure out why. Give him some Benadryl and that should settle it down in a couple of days.”

$35 later (deductible + some new paperwork fee????) I ran back to daycare to pick up MLI and then we headed home. My “plan” had gotten messed up though (I was s’pose to be able to go to the gym before picking them up), so I was in a “not too great mood” and I might have yelled once (or twice) that evening. I tried to do some work after putting them to bed, but good old Lotus Notes had somehow boogered up my password and it required that I get a new one.

Now check this out:

If you want a new e-mail password, you have to request one either by telephone or Web form. Then, they send it to your manager–nope, not to you–and your manager has to give it to you. It’s as if they want your manager to know how inept you are.

So anyway, rather than spending my time getting a lot of work done last night, I spent half of it trying and retrying various passwords.

LOVE ME SOME LOTUS NOTES DAWG!

Would you believe that after all that, I DID NOT have an adult beverage? Gold star for me!

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Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States Society

There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern.

Read this slowly, using the voice of “Agent Smith” from “The Matrix.” Also, it helps if you have a sneer on your face as you read it.
If you’ve never seen the movie, well hell…just move along please. Nothin to see here…

image They are all around you. They walk through life self-absorbed to the point of narcosis, not knowing the frustration they bring to others. Not knowing that around them, the world continues to move, except for those unlucky few souls forced to move within their sphere of influence.

You, who I speak of, probably don’t even know that you affect the planet such as you do. Happily wrapped up in your moment, you cost others untold amounts of life while waiting on you to become aware. You are:

  • The person talking on the cell phone in the grocery store blocking the entire aisle with your cart
  • Sitting in your car, digging through your purse, or reading a book at a stop light that has already turned green
  • The parent who parks their car under the covered breezeway at the daycare office and then disappears inside for 25 minutes while others pull in behind you and subsequently get blocked in until your eventual return
  • The person at the gym who has left his towel on a bench as he wanders off to use yet another machine, only returning a few minutes later annoyed that, in his absence, someone else dared move his towel and use the machine or bench
  • The person ordering eight different items from the deli counter when there is only one person working
  • NOT starting to fill out your check at the checkout, rather waiting until you receive the total to even put the date on the check or sign your name
  • Sitting in your car at a busy gas station. You finished filling your vehicle five minutes ago, but you’re too busy doing other things to bother moving your car
  • Forcing others to sit through meetings listening to a speech they’ve already heard, just so it looks like you had a good showing
  • The person on the escalator standing in the very middle so that those behind you, who don’t like to stand still, can’t get past
  • At the ATM machine, checking the balance on your five different accounts while also talking to your sister, who is also in the car. Meanwhile, the ATM is flashing, “DO YOU WANT YOUR CARD BACK” waiting on your action, which of course, you don’t notice
  • Stoned and so dimwittedly slow that you are basically of no use to anyone around you
  • Clueless to the point of not picking up on the fact that the person on the other end of your chat client, is responding to you in one or two word responses in an attempt at signifying that they are too busy to care about what happened to your neighbor’s cat
  • Driving the speed limit on a lonely road as fifteen cars pile up behind you

The rest of the world would like to ask you to WAKE UP! You are not the only person on the road, at the grocery store, trying to fix your cable bill or any number of other time-consuming tasks each of us face on a daily basis. If you can’t do this, stay home. Do your shopping from Amazon and The Home Shopping Network and generally just stay out of the way.

The rest of us thank you!

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A Boy's Life Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States Society

Who are you and what have you done with my child?

image I led a secret life as a child, and still do. When I was little, I was two different people:

  • One person was the person I was around my friends. This person ran, he laughed, he played. He also spit, cursed, got in fights, fed his dog live lizards, shot innocent birds with his Red Ryder bee-bee gun (only once or twice), had a MASSIVE crush on a certain blonde girl in high school, drank too much beer on innumerable occasions, and did a multitude of other things he didn’t do at home.
  • The other person was the person who lived at home. This person was quiet. He spent hours by himself in his room listening to Jerry Clower records, mostly to provide background noise since it was otherwise unearthly quiet. Often, he listened with dread for the footfalls above him and he could tell when the person attached to the footsteps was heading for the stairs leading to the bottom floor where his room was. Generally, there were only two reasons for an adult to be heading down the stairs: 1) To go into the garage or 2) To come to either his room, or his brother’s; neither of which usually portended good things. Later, this person also attended church far more than any child, who isn’t enrolled in a brainwashing program, should have, which only further amplified his duality.

I’m all growns up now and overall, the two personalities from my childhood have gelled into one. I don’t really spit anymore, unless I’m out doing man things by myself in my boots and dirty jeans. I still curse on occasion and I laugh around others without fear of retribution.

But I must admit, I still can’t let go around some of my parents. My dad…not so much. My dad is but a shell of the cold, stern man that he was as I grew up. Now, he is a warm, giving person and I feel sad that, for so many years, he lived under the yoke of whatever it was that caused him to be that way.

My mothers though, that’s a different story. I was responding to an e-mail one of them sent me the other day and I was just typing along and wrote out the word “balls” but then I immediately backspaced and replaced it with “cajones.”

Who can’t say “balls” around their mom? Especially as a 35-year old man!

It’s kinda ridiculous when you think about it. Here I am, a (arguably) successful person. I have a family and responsibilities. I have held within my grubby little paws, some of the Top Secrets my country holds. I have two kids of my own, and somehow, despite all of this,  I can’t say the word “Balls” in front of my mom!

Is it just me? I mean, at what point, if ever, do you reach a point where you say, “Hey, you tried. Overall, you did a fine job, but here I am. A product of my environment AND my upbringing. If you don’t like it, then don’t come for Thanksgiving!”

I’ve been around other people while also around their parents and I’ve seen it go both ways. I’ve seen the ones who, like me, pretend that they never had sex before marriage and then I’ve seen those who could pour themselves a scotch from their dad’s liquor cabinet while sitting around with everyone watching Wheel of Fortune.

It’s just weird I tell ya. It’s even worse for spouses I think. I know that when my mom visits, CareerMom is so concerned over what my mom will think of her. And the funny thing is, I’m like, “Eh, don’t worry about it. You just be you and you’ll be fine. Don’t worry what she thinks.”

How’s that for screwed up?

So, come on. Fess up! Are you YOU around your folks?

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Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States Society

Picture Phone Phriday – HR Hilarity!

CareerMom works for a health-focused company. It is full of intelligent and supposedly responsible people. Each year, usually twice a year, these intelligent and responsible people gather in various locales to discuss managerial things and whatnot. Their days and evenings are spent crowded together brainstorming strategies and initiatives for the coming months.

As you can imagine, like monkeys in the zoo, when they are free to do as they please, it gets a little crazy sometimes.

In the last few years, at least three fairly high-placed managers have been fired over HR issues resulting from something that happened at one of these meetings. To quell such instances, the company has tried different approaches:

  • conference calls
  • ethics training
  • A “How to conduct yourself in a business setting” seminar
  • and more

Recently however, CareerMom received the following mailer at home from her company. If you’re like me, you’ll find this more amusing than informative.
Why, there are all kinds of situations where I could apply this advice and “technically” still be within the limits of acceptability according to HR. I also find its simplicity just hilarious. As if, it’s THIS SIMPLE, even when you’re drunk, to realize that you shouldn’t hit on your bosses’ wife.

Lastly, what do you do if you get to “I don’t know”? Well, you’re supposed to go ask your boss.

Love it! Enjoy!

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