Category: Life in these United States

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Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States Society

Picture Phone Phriday!

Being something of a writer professionally, I am ever cognizant of spelling and grammar mistakes, though I make plenty of them myself. And while I’m not the kind of person to write back to a friend and tell them that their e-mail construction was so poor that it made my eyes bleed, I’m not so understanding when I see highly visible mistakes in the general public. Because there should be people, like myself, proofing things before giant, life-sized posters are made of them.

Anyway, as we were returning from our Christmas tree chopping-down last weekend, CareerMom asked if we could drive through Sonic and get drinks (she loves their crushed ice drinks), to which I heartily agreed. So, I pulled around, passing all the little pull in slots since we weren’t going to stop and drink the beverages there, and as I pulled up to the drive-through ordering thingy, I saw this:

11-28-08_1636

“Please use the Stales“

What the heck are “Stales?”

I sat there, perplexed, for about 15 seconds until a teenage girl walked out and said, “Hi, I’m sorry. The drive through isn’t working. Could you please use the stalls?“

OH STALLS! WITH TWO “L’s”

Of course, I had to point out to her that I was unfamiliar with “Stales,” prompting a blushed admission, “Oh, I guess I misspelled it.” *nervous giggle*

I know, I should cut a kid a break, but the girl was at least 17 and should know better.

Kids today, please stay in school and pay better attention!

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Dad Blogs DIY Family Life in these United States

I’m all right, ain’t nobody worried ’bout me…

Caddyshack Gopher
got-moles

Thanks to the weather of late, I’ve not spent much time in my front yard. I also sort of let the grass grow a bit longer than I should have at the end of the season. Couple that with the fact that I thought my zoysia was just turning brown due to the cold weather and it’s no surprise I didn’t realize that my front yard had become the playground for one or more moles, until I stepped onto the turf and my foot sank nearly an inch into one of his little burrows.

See all those squiggly yellow lines on the picture there, that’s approximately where his roads criss-crosses under the ground. (“…criss-cross’ll make you, JUMP, JUMP…”) You can tell by following the really white (read: Dead) lines in the grass.mole problem

This is no laughing matter. I suspect what happened is, that once I fixed my backyard landscaping, and low-teched a way to keep the bird seed from raining down on the ground, when his food source dried up, the little booger bored his way to my front yard where the steep slope is perpetually moist and makes for easy digging!

This past Saturday, after realizing the problem, and after having stomped down more than 30 feet of my prized, yet burrowed up lawn, it wasn’t but a few hours later that I noticed he’d come right back through and dug some of it back up!

My dogs are no help. They did manage to catch a mole in the backyard once, but he was so cute, that I let him go.

Oh the poor choices I’ve made in the past!!

I have since purchased some mole grub from the local hardware store. It looks like gummy worms, but it’s laced with some kinda special poison. You’re supposed to refrain from stomping on his runs (oopsy!) and instead, poke a little hole in one of his burrows and drop the little arsenic-laced gummy worm in the hole and then hope he comes back its way and dines on the tasty treat.

I dunno…I don’t have high hopes.

I fear that, come spring, my yard is going to look line someone took rock salt and played “Island of Sodor” (“Hey mom, let’s follow the tracks!“) on my lawn.

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Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States

To my next-door neighbor, I’m sorry for doubting you.

ugly hybrid  My next-door neighbor, let’s call him “Bill” since, well, that’s his name. Bill is getting on up there. I mean, the guy has to be nearing sixty. He has a son who started high school this year. His wife works out of town a lot and he’s retired, so he spends a lot of time by himself. Bill is a tad quirky, but there’s absolutely no way he’ll ever find my blog so I feel pretty safe writing about him.

Recently, Bill purchased himself one of these little Honda convertible sports cars. It’s not new, but it’s very similar to the new S2000. Anyway, the point is, it’s a sports car. And he’s almost 60. So, every time I see him backing the thing out of his driveway, I’m saying, “There goes Bill’s mid-life mobile.” In my head. (credit goes to comedian Bobby Collins)

See, I’ve never really gotten the whole mid-life-crisis car purchase. It just seemed a tad…dumb.

BUT…

As I mentioned, CareerMom’s speedometer went out in her car last week and since there are apparently very stringent rules on who can fix speedometers here in Georgia, we had to leave it in the shop for a few days while they order new parts. In return, we got a Dodge Charger as a rental. That’s the V6, 3.5L 368HP Dodge Charger gentlemen.

Now I understand the mid-life-crisis car purchase!

After having driven underpowered mini-SUVs and pickup trucks for nigh on the last ten years, I’d forgotten how much fun a REAL car can be. It’s like a drug. I sit behind the wheel of this thing, with my new blue-tinted sunglasses on and my hair gelled just perfectly, and it’s like I’m 18 again.

I was able to take the car out a couple of times this weekend for short trips (once to the grocery store – woo wee! and once to the mall) and each time I did, I felt like a completely different person. I didn’t feel like the guy who’d changed three super-nasty poopy diapers that day. I didn’t feel like the guy who has a nice chunk of “rainy day cash” in his checking account and who, rather than buying himself a new HDTV will probably end up spending it on “something for the house.”
No, for about an hour this weekend, I was a MAN again.

Yeah, I said it! Without the kids, driving this cool car, I felt like a REAL MAN! And ooooooh, it felt good.

Today, they are supposed to get the new speedometer in and then CareerMom will go pick up her Taurus wagon thing. It’s not bad. But it’s no Dodge Charger “police version” super-stud mobile.

I’m sorry Bill. Me and you…simpatico my friend.

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Dad Blogs Family Life in these United States Society

No words today, just gratitude

Arlington Cemetary

There’s a lot of things I could say today about Veterans and the sacrifices that they, and their families, have made, but sometimes a picture does a better job.

To all my military brothers around the world who fight for peace, I salute you today and I THANK YOU.

May this Veteran’s Day mean something to even those who have never tasted its bittersweet kiss.