It’s the Monday Wrap-Up!

Let’s call this “Wrap Up Monday,” which is odd I know, but I have a lot of short little ‘vignette’ type things to mention that don’t deserve an entire blog on their own merits, so here goes:


On Saturday, MLI had his second soccer game of the season. At this age, they play four kids at one time, on each team, and they don’t have a goalie. So, you’re supposed to have 8 kids running whilly nilly around a soccer field, while two coaches try to keep pace by immediately throwing a ball back into play whenever one goes out of bounds. It’s very “high energy” and very, very funny.

Unfortunately, our team apparently suffered from “Spring Break” syndrome, so only four kids showed up, and one of the kids was a girl who proceeded to pout on the field (because she couldn’t get the ball) until I pointed out to her how important the “goalie” position was and that, “…all you have to do is stand right here and keep the ball from going in. It’s THE MOST IMPORTANT job on the whole team!” She loved it and didn’t pout the rest of the game. Course…by then we were already down about 8 points, but…

Despite having three boys on our team who were unable to substitute out and rest, they did pretty darn well against the other team who had seven players and could rotate out the bench when a player started flagging. Our team scored two points and I’m proud to say that MLI scored the only “legitimate” point for us (the other was scored by a member of the opposite team who got confused about which side of the field he was on).

Meanwhile, on the sideline, MLE showed that he could have probably hung with most of the 5-year olds on the field, by dribbling the ball up and down the sidelines better than half the other, bigger kids. I have high hopes for that one!

On a more serious note, one of my many moms and MY BROTHER, are coming for a very brief visit on Wednesday. This is significant for several reasons:

  • This is my “adopted mom” who exerted the same lack of parenting skills that I find myself exerting when CareerMom is gone. The main difference being that hers was “all the time” and a good bit rougher.
  • Despite having any real connection to my kids, she continues to call them, “my babies” despite neither of them being either A) Babies or B) hers.
  • My brother, whom I probably haven’t seen in five years, is coming with her. Last time I saw him, was in the visitation lounge of the Lexington, Kentucky Federal Penitentiary. He had a long beard and lots of tattoos. He’s been “straight” for a while now, but I honestly don’t know how I feel about him coming to my sanctuary…my home…and being around my kids. Oh, he’s never been violent or anything, but I honestly don’t know him anymore and I don’t know what to expect. Being around him is like being around that strange uncle that you’re supposed to like, and that your parents want you to hug and stuff, but whom you really don’t know well enough to want to do any of that stuff. It’s gonna be a weird visit all around.

Luckily, they will only be there for a very brief instant. After the “we were gonna stop by, but my GPS sent me to the wrong side of Atlanta…and oh, by the way, here’s your rotten shrimp” incident, I suppose I should give her credit for trying.

Today is my son’s actual birthday, and I forgot to tell him Happy Birthday…

Romi’s comment prompted me to at least make a small effort to blog, so here goes.
BTW: Yes, the title is true. But in my defense, we had a family party last Sunday and he\’s having a dual-party with a bud of his next weekend, so cut me slack for forgetting that today is his actual birthday!!

Day 3: CareerMom comes home this evening sometime around dinner. Her flight lands around 4ish and then she has to trek all the way up through Atlanta to the burbs. So, figure around 5:30-6 p.m.

I looked around the house with a critical eye this morning and it was NOT pretty. Normally when she’s gone, I have time to work, take care of the boys AND clean, but this time around, the cleaning part fell victim to work that I had to do after putting the boys to bed. I had not swept. I had not vacuumed. I DID turn on the dishwasher and a load of clothes (no folding…), so yay me!

One thing I will say though, is now that the boys are 5 and 2 years old, it is WORLDS easier than it was when I had an actual baby to deal with, which is ultimately why I have been looking upon this pending baby in August with such dread. CareerMom’s job is not going to get any easier, nor will it involve less travel as long as she\’s with this company. So this time next year, I’ll be blogging about doing this all over again, except this time I\’ll have a 6-month old to deal with!

What’s a guy to do? My job is important too, but just because I don’t travel, then by proxy, it’s less important. It means that when she DOES travel, that extra hour or two I usually gain by not having to take the kids to daycare, or pick them up, when she’s here working from home, is now built into late night work while everyone else sleeps. I mean, even though my boss is a mom herself, and she understands what I’m dealing with, she’s also still my boss and my deadlines are her deadlines.

I’m sure CareerMom would balk at the mere suggestion that her career is more important than mine, but each time she goes out of town, leaving me to do my usual duties, plus hers…then we really see what’s #1 around here. Cuz, when I told her that this was a BAD week for her to be gone, I don’t remember her saying, “Really? OK, I’ll get out of it.”

I submit, clause 7 from a random Partnership agreement:

Management Duties and Restrictions
The partners shall have equal rights in the management of the partnership business, and each partner shall devote their entire time to the conduct of the business. Without the consent of the other partner neither partner shall on behalf of the partnership borrow or lend money, or make, deliver, or accept any commercial paper, or execute any mortgage, security agreement, bond, or lease, or purchase or contract to purchase, or sell or contract to sell any property for or of the partnership other than the type of property bought and sold in the regular course of its business.

Restated for Marriage
The partners shall have equal rights in the management of the partnership household business, and each partner shall devote their entire time to the conduct of the business. Without the consent of the other partner, neither partner shall on behalf of the partnership make decisions to increase the capital expenditures, increase the net assets (either human or inanimate), or dissolve third-party relationships with other partnerships. In the event that either partner stays absent from the partnership for a length of time that detrimentally affects the performance of the other partner, upon said partner\’s return, the partner who faithfully remained and carried out the duties of the partnership, shall have the option to immediately disregard any and all provinces within this partnership; thereby, freeing the partner to spend money flagrantly, drink heavily, and generally act in a manner that might normally be deemed inappropriate.

The sad truth though, is that upon her return, though she will immediately “set me free,” instead of going and doing something fun for myself, I’ll probably just sit down and do more work.

Yeah, I’m THAT behind.


Uptight American parents

pool Our gym has an outdoor pool. It’s one of those beach entry affairs whereas it gradually slopes down towards a moderately deep four feet at its maximum depth. The reason for this is so that young ones can play in the water without their parents having to hold them the entire time (while being mauled to death by the growing finger and toenails of their excited child!).

I took the boys there yesterday after CareerMom got home. She worked out while I frolicked in the pool. At first, it was innocent enough; MLE was hesitant at first and so I held him as MLI floated around in the deeper section. But soon, MLE got a bit more brave and decided that stepping off the side into the deeper section was waaay more fun than being held by daddy.

So I let him.

And, after disregarding my admonishments to “Sit on your booty and slide in,” which he completely understands, I started letting him fall in and go underwater. The first couple of times when I pulled him back up, he gasped for air and his eyes went all wide and he looked at me as if to say, “What the hell? You ALWAYS catch me!”

Now, in a moment like this, I think it’s natural for a parent to look around to gauge the reaction of other parents…you know…just to see. It’s also natural for a parent to automatically try and push the blame back on the child, and so I said, “Uh huh, see. I told you to sit on your booty,” and I said it in a loud enough voice so that the trophy mom with the two kids and the killer abs who was giving me the evil eye heard me over the din of the waterfall thingy.

Interestingly, it’s the WASP parents who seem the most uptight about this sort of thing. While we’re all fawning over our child’s every laugh, and giving hugs whenever our child stubs his toe, your average minority mom is stretched out on the lounger grabbing some rays while her four kids of all ages are having a good old time playing by themselves.

Part of me wants to say, “Hey, what if your kids were drowning over there?”

And the other part of me wants to say, “Good for you! I mean, there ARE 20-year old stud lifeguards at all four corners of the pool. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Anyway, after the first couple of dunkings, MLE decided that stepping off the deep end and going underwater was about the coolest thing he’d ever done before and anyway…daddy will always be there to pull him out.

Yep my little man, I always will be. Have fun!

Oh, obviously! The moment I sat down I thought I was looking into a mirror.

two strikes I swanny; if my boys weren’t born three years apart, I’d swear they were twins. When one is happy, the other is happy; when one is sad the other is sad.

And when one is bad, well…let’s just say that MLE now has “Two Strikes” on the old biting policy chart.

Yesterday, both of the boys had a little trouble at daycare. MLI’s class gives out stickers for being good, and one little incident can keep a child from getting a sticker. Depending on which story you listen to from MLI (the one he gave CareerMom, or the one he gave me), the infraction went something like this:

We came in from playing outside and we were waiting in line for water, and I hit Carter and then I went and sat down.”

Now, if this doesn’t quite make sense, realize it’s coming from a four year old whose recollection leaves a lot to be desired, and who probably figures he’s about to get in trouble despite what daddy just told him about being honest. We had our own little “sticker contest” going at home where if he got five stickers, he could go see Wall-E with CareerMom. He had already gotten the requisite stickers, but knowing he fudged up yesterday, when CareerMom picked him up and found out he didn’t get a sticker, he psyched himself out of movie excitement with, “It was probably going to be boring anyway.”

Since he’d already gotten five stickers, I told CareerMom that he’d already earned it despite what he’d done that day, so he went to the movie with CareerMom last night anyway, and turns out he was right. They didn’t even finish the movie.

On to MLE! All’s I know is that he and another little boy were fighting over a push-toy, and recognizing that he might be about to lose the fight, MLE decided to fight dirty and reached over and bit the other boy. Which, as it turns out, worked…up until the point where the teachers came and put him in timeout with a “stern” admonishment.

Let me just point out here that a stern admonishment is about as effective with MLE as well, timeout. Which, shockingly, for a 16 month old, MLE is very good at. He’s apparently had lots of practice in timeout. We put him in timeout this weekend for something and he actually sat there until we told him to get up.

To say were were in “shock and awe” would be an understatement. And as CareerMom has said on many occasions, “It’s a good thing he’s so cute, because he’s going to be quite the troublemaker!”

Isn’t that way of it? How many hotties do you see going to jail? Male or female?

I’m just sayin’.

So anyway, we have one more strike before the mandatory parental meeting, and then if he continues to bite, it’s expulsion. CareerMom swears she’ll pull MLI AND MLE if it comes to that; although she’s not figured out what we’ll do with them then.

Hey, don’t look at me! I may work from home a lot, but that’s only because nobody else is there!

Any suggestions as to how we can curb this biting thing? Barring that…anyone know where we can find a really good (cheap) nanny?