The day should get better from here

Under control It was supposed to make it easier on me this week. It was supposed to make the whole process of getting the kids up and getting them off to daycare simpler while CareerMom is off doing Team Building in Phoenix. But alas, it was not to be.

…Sometime this past weekend

CareerMom: Why don’t I just pay for the kid’s breakfasts at daycare this week while I’m gone. That’ll make it easier on you in the morning.

Me: *snort* You fix them breakfast in the morning; I can handle it too (rolling my eyes)

CareerMom: Yeah, but you’re usually here for a while anyway and help me get them ready and stuff. You’ll be by yourself.
(You see what she did here? She mollified my indignation at the apparent assertion that I couldn’t handle getting the boys to daycare. Open chest cavity, push correct button…)

Me: Well, it would make things easier. You sure you don’t mind?

CareerMom: No, I don’t mind and I’m looking at the menu here and it’s decent, so they should get a pretty good breakfast.

Me: OK, thanks.

Back in the present…

We left the house at 7:25a.m. and arrived at daycare around 7:50. They stop serving breakfast at 8 a.m., so we got there just under the bell. Now normally, they bring all the kids’ breakfasts to their classrooms at once, so when I dropped MLE off in his room and didn’t see a breakfast, I was a bit surprised. As was his teacher. So, MLI and I headed back up to the front, where I mentioned to the lady that we had paid for breakfast. She said, “Oh yeah, I’ll get it.”

So, I took MLI on down to his room. At some point along the walk, he figured out that I had NOT brought him breakfast,like we normally do and he started sulking and proclaimed, “I don’t want to eat their breakfast.” At this point, I was like, “Well, that’s what you’re having and if you don’t eat it, you’ll be really really hungry by lunchtime.”

I mentioned to his teacher that breakfast should be on its way, and then I kissed MLI on the top of the head and headed out. As I walked back by MLE’s class, I noticed, “No breakfast” and MLE was screaming his head off because he’s been up since 6:30 and he’s starving!

So, I walk back up to the front, where the same lady I just spoke to is on the phone. When she got off, I said:

Me: Breakfast? (making this little shruggy motion with my arms and shoulders)
Her: Oh, well we ran out of biscuits so it’s gonna be like 20 minutes before I can get him something else.

Me: And what would that “something else” be?
Her: Well, I’ll get him some fruit.

Me: Fruit is NOT breakfast, I don’t care what vegetarians tell you. They need more than just some fruit.

…there was more, but as my voice got louder, her demeanor got more defiant and it turned into me pretty much chewing her out.

I then told her to refund our breakfast money for the rest of the week because I would take care of it since I clearly couldn’t rely on them (yeah, I tend to over-exaggerate things when I’m mad…).

Now before you all take her side, there are things you should know about our daycare. It used to be run by a family, and well run at that. They sold it to a chain and since then, the staff has become about 50% fantastic and 50% craptastic. This lady falls into the latter category.

After my tirade, I stormed out and spent the next 30 minutes in traffic going to Chick-Fil-A and getting the boys a real manly-man breakfast (not any of this gol-darn hippie-crap!) and then taking it back. And I’m glad I did because when I got to MLI’s room, all they had given him (for the $2.50 we’d paid) was a piece of dry toast and some crushed fruit. I mentioned my episode to his teacher and she said (God bless her!) “Was that XY? We don’t like her much. Oh, I shouldn’t say that in front of you kids.” And then under her breath she said, “But it’s true!”

Some days, I think it’s just me. That maybe I’m just too uptight. But there are just some things in life you don’t mess with, and a man’s kids are one of them.

Craftiness is not one of my strengths

Before CareerMom left for the week, she did everything she could to make things easier for me in her absence. She told me I could go do whatever I wanted while she watched the boys this past weekend–an offer I only temporarily took advantage of. She made sure the boys had plenty of diapers and wipes and clean clothes stocked at daycare so I wasn’t trying to schlepp all that junk around in my truck (or forgetting it and having to drive the 9 miles back home for it). She even had me go ahead and print up pictures of the family for both the boys because they are each in a new class at daycare (MLI is in pre-k now) and their teachers wanted a picture from each child.

But things rarely go as one plans, and so it was as CareerMom dropped off MLE on Monday morning before she left that she found out the teacher had changed the “picture” request into a “poster” request.

A Poster huh?

That would mean like, crafty crap right? Yeah, um…I’m not really good at crafty crap.

Now, you could ping my mom, or any of my brothers or sisters and they would be able to help out with crafty crap, but not me. I have zero artistic ability, and even less creativity.

That said though, if you give me colors, I can match them. I’m even good at decorating, but don’t ask me to actually MAKE anything.

But, since it was up to me and the boys, I was determined to come up with something that wouldn’t make MLE look like he had the worst, uncaring parents in the world; so here’s what I came up with:

Craft Project 002

Now, as bad as it is, it’s not as crooked as it looks here. That’s just an illusion of the camera. You may be able to click on it and get a larger version.

I’m truly not fishing for compliments here, because though I know it’s not great, for me, it’s actually pretty good. So, I’m not half-disappointed in myself.

And the boys sure didn’t care. I let them both get in on the paint-handprint thing…and then MLE stepped in the green paint and before I could stop him, it was all over the kitchen floor.

CareerMom will undoubtedly want to redo the thing when she returns, but my lil work of art will at least get a few days of life in MLE’s class.

Does that count as 15 minutes of fame?

I’m beginning to suspect a pattern

patterns Remember back a couple of Friday’s ago…I was looking forward to a nice work from home day and then MLE puked on the way to daycare, only to come home and seem to feel fine the rest of the day.

Well, we made it to 10 a.m. today. I got a call from daycare, “Oh hi. I just wanted to let you know that MLE doesn’t seem to feel well. He’s been…well…just not himself and he keeps pulling on his right ear.”

I know this teacher and she’s not one to overreact, and I know that MLI and I have both been fighting a cold, so I told her I’d come pick him up.

When I arrived, he was standing on top of a bin of toys cackling. On the way home from daycare, he nursed a bottle and made faces at me as I drove.

Since we’ve been home, he’s destroyed the pantry; pulling down everything he could get his hands on. He’s eaten half my lunch Cheeto’s and now he’s playing with his brother’s light saber and making realistic “whonk whonk” noises as he stabs imaginary Sith Lords.

Sick? I don’t think so.

A big fat faker? I’m leaning in that general direction.

Oh, and three days and counting till CareerMom heads out to Colorado for a week. She says she’s not looking forward to it, but lemme see…while in Colorado, you get to stay in a nice hotel and sleep later than you do at home. But, you work during the day, except for the last day when they get free time. There are usually coordinated dinners at night at really nice restaurants (and unlimited good wine) that if you really really wanted to, you could find an excuse to get out of.


The usual rat race here at home, complete with leftovers from this week that I’ve managed to put away to make life easier for myself next week.

I know what I’d vote for.

It’s OK. You can laugh. I won’t hold it against you.

Injury report

I could really make about a dozen points about this injury report that MLE (cat’s outta the bag…MLE’s name is Aiden) got today at daycare, but…oh, who am I kidding? I’m not noble!

In case you missed them:

  • I’m pretty sure it didn’t occur at 9:45 p.m. If so, then we really need to try and pick him up earlier
  • “…had got…”  “…had got…” let me say it again, “…had got…”  tsk, tsk, tsk

OK, I only have two real comments here, but still…dang!

And OK, but am I the only person who thinks this is funny?

Or am I just really a bad father?