It’s OK. You can laugh. I won’t hold it against you.

Injury report

I could really make about a dozen points about this injury report that MLE (cat’s outta the bag…MLE’s name is Aiden) got today at daycare, but…oh, who am I kidding? I’m not noble!

In case you missed them:

  • I’m pretty sure it didn’t occur at 9:45 p.m. If so, then we really need to try and pick him up earlier
  • “…had got…”  “…had got…” let me say it again, “…had got…”  tsk, tsk, tsk

OK, I only have two real comments here, but still…dang!

And OK, but am I the only person who thinks this is funny?

Or am I just really a bad father?

Cuz it’s One, Two, Three Strikes You’re Out…

three strikesAs I’ve mentioned, the daycare we have our kids in was recently purchased by a major chain (sounds like, “Bids R Bids”). Turns out, the new owner also owns a facility just up the road; one which, I might add, we had previously looked at and turned down summarily! Since the hostile takeover, the following things have happened:

– They didn’t tell anyone about the purchase until it was a done deal. Even people who had put deposits for Fall enrollment were not told. I know of one lady who dislikes the other facility these owners have so much, that she walked away from her $250 down payment.

– They removed all the wood chips in the playground, effectively shutting the playground down for a week. They have now put in different wood chips that are apparently easier on the lungs of those with breathing problems (so…let’s charge everyone more so that we can make it easier on one or two. Sounds similar to our government)

– They have now instituted a “3 strikes and you’re (at least) suspended” biting policy

It’s this last biting policy that most concerns us and many of the teachers. If you have ever had kids, or had kids around other kids, then you know that biting is common among toddlers. It’s not nice, it’s not fun, but it’s a fact of life. MLE is a bit of a biter and we’ve been working on him at home by not letting him and MLI wrestle (which sucks because, Come ON! they’re boys!), by reprimanding him when he does, and even by swatting his hiney when he does it.

But yesterday was his first offense under the new policy, so CareerMom is freaking out already about what we’ll do IF he gets suspended or kicked out. Neither of us have jobs that lend themselves well to keeping our kids at home and we’ve already scoped out all the daycare facilities around us and aren’t thrilled with our choices, not to mention the fact that with Pre-K registration having just finished, space is at a premium (if available at all).

The teachers of MLE’s class are trying to talk some sense into the owners, explaining to them that you can’t reason with a 15-month old like one of them tried explaining to us, “Well, have you tried sitting him down and explaining to him that biting is bad?”

*snort* I wish it had been me there when they said that rather than CareerMom because I would have retorted with, “I would hope that anyone who owns a daycare would be more aware of the developmental milestones of children.” You can’t reason with a 15-month old, when their attention span is no bigger than a Goldfish cracker. Sure, you can get their attention for the moment, but in an hour, in the heat of playing, their not going to stop what their doing and suddenly recall a lesson about biting! It’s madness I tell ya! Madness!

In his defense, he’s gotten better, but every now and then, usually when he gets excited and when he’s in close proximity to another person, he’ll just latch on, not hard though, but enough to hurt a bit.

But we do understand the concern that biting causes. MLI got bit a LOT when he was little and thankfully, he only bit a couple of times, and only in retaliation; but, as the mother of the child MLE bit yesterday said to CareerMom, “Oh, don’t worry about it! My son has certainly done his share of biting too!”

Anyway, my daily prayers now include, “Dear Lord, please don’t let MLE bite anyone today…oh and please let us have World Peace! Amen!”

If it weren’t so funny, I might be concerned

We’ve all seen those heart-rending videos of starving children in third-world countries right? With Sally Strothers doing her best Tammy Faye impersonation all the while imploring us wealthy Americans to donate our money so that the warlords can hijack the relief trucks before they can get to the needy people. My personal favorite is the elderly gentleman with the graying beard, who keeps saying, “Ma-ria” (pronounced: Mah-rrrddd-ah) with an emphasis on the “Ma” syllable.

Anyway, due to my back problems of late, CareerMom has been doing all of the things with the kids that requires bending over, such as putting MLE in his crib and bathing the boys at night. Well last night, I didn’t feel like cleaning up the mess I made from the Mexican dinner I prepared, so I volunteered for bath duty.

Even though I’ve changed MLE’s diapers and such, it’s all been with him lying down. So, I haven’t seen him naked and standing up in about a week. Last night when I took all his clothes off and put him in the bath, he promptly stood up, stuck both hands under his gi-normous belly and started lifting it up and down like some kinda laughing Santa Claus, all the while dancing in the bathwater and cackling like the Joker. I swear, it was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

Once the hilarity died down, I got to looking at his belly and wondered if there was something wrong with him, because it honestly looks like one of those distended-bellied kids who haven’t had a square meal in years; however, I know that’s not the case, and the kid is happy as a lark now that we’ve gotten antibiotics for his latest dual-ear infection. So I guess he’s OK.

I think the boy just eats a ton. There’s one lady at daycare whose mom runs a greasy spoon joints in town and she brings MLE a yummy biscuit a couple of times a week. Between that and the fact that we switched him to whole milk recently, I guess he’s just putting on the weight. But I feel bad for the little guy cuz he’s built like me and that gut is where I carry my weight too.

Sorry lil’ fella, it doesn’t get any easier! I’m just glad you can laugh about it.

Tell me again how smart your child is…

About a week ago, all of us proud parents were exposed to the story about the 17-month old girl who can talk and read. The talking thing is no big deal I don’t believe, but the reading thing is and the coverage she garnered was just a hair shy of annoyingly show-offish to be honest with you (jealous much?). Her parents are both some kind of language experts, so it’s no surprise the kid shows talent in that area. Hmm, since CareerMom and I are both in marketing, does that mean our boys will be great shoppers? Points to ponder.

But this got me to wondering what they do differently at home and what kinds of things are we, and our daycare teaching our own kids. I know that in MLE’s class, they are teaching the toddlers some sign language. The only sign that I see MLE really going to town on, is the sign for “more” and it’s usually in relation to food, “Give me MORE!”

Yesterday, when the kids got home, I checked out their daily activity sheet and MLE’s sheet said, “Today we learned the sign for ‘shoes’.”


Really? How does knowing the sign for shoes help my child? I’d rather he learn how to tell me when he’s about to puke all over my clean work shirt, or when he needs to go poopy rather than filling up his diaper and having it leak out and onto whatever surface he happens to be scooching across at the moment. THOSE are useful signing words to me. Not shoes!

But maybe this is the norm. I pulled the image at the top of my blog off the Internet and as you can see, they teach youngsters all kinds of seemingly useless signs, like “cookie” and “telephone” and “frog.” What can a toddler do with that?

Using this list of signs, I suppose a toddler could sign to someone:

“Mommy, the milk you gave me was too hot, so I want to eat a frog instead.”


“I asked for a cookie and you brought me the telephone, and I said no touch, no touch.”

(you have to be an “Office Space” fan to even remotely get that one).

I don’t know, maybe my expectations for my kids are just really low, but I don’t expect them to be able to wax poetic before the age of two. And quite frankly, I’d rather they fit in with their friends rather than being “that freaky kid” who understands quantum theory at the age of five.

Call me crazy…