Month: June 2008

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Dad Blogs Family

I know what I did this summer

KiawahThose of you who follow my blog at all, know I was on vacation last week. I’ve personally e-mailed a couple of you, but I’ve thus far not really posted anything about my vacation because…well, it was kinda ho-hum and boring really and I wasn’t sure how to spin it to make it a riveting read.

But then I figured, “Hey, maybe my experience will help others decide where to/not to go on vacation.” So based on that, here’s my vacation synopsis, complete with familial and experiential pics at the bottom (Note: This is the first time I’ve posted pics of myself, so don’t pass up this opportunity to deride and guffaw!)

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A lady CareerMom works with suggested an island in S.C. called “Kiawah, Island.” It’s run by some resorty place and it’s billed as a golf resort, which is its primary draw. With four uber-expensive golf courses and approximately 6 miles of sandy beach to play on, it offers something for dad to do while mom and the kids play, or…it offers something for mom to do at the spa while Dad and the kids play…or it offers something for the whole family to do while both mom AND dad play with the kids when dad pulls his shoulder just prior to the trip and mom, for whatever reason, fails to book a spa day far enough in advance.

To start, I was not looking forward to the drive based on our previous beach trip the year before, but we let the kids play all morning before packing them in the car on Monday and overall, it really wasn’t a bad trip. We arrived in time for a bit of play on the beach that evening and then it was inside to figure out how we were going to set up the sleeping arrangements so that nobody woke anyone else up should they be having a bad night.

Sleep wasn’t so great the first night. MLE woke up around 3 a.m. and didn’t want to go back to sleep, so none of us got much rest. Tuesday was all beach, all day. I also got some surf-fishing in, catching some Sea Trout, while the kids and CareerMom played in the sand.

By Tuesday evening, we’d discovered the bathwater-warm pool and we probably spent the bulk of our remaining daylight hours there, since quite frankly, both CareerMom and I can only take so much beach! The sleeping arrangements sorted themselves out and though we were generally up by 5-5:30 a.m. each morning, we slept pretty well up until then.

We also did a Dolphin tour thingy, on a small boat with just our family. It was run by some tanned, good-looking naturalist type, who probably drives a solar-powered Prius and who, I’m pretty sure, was blowing some serious smoke up our butts about how much fun the dolphins are around them sometimes, since we didn’t even see any dolphins till halfway through the trip. But, it was fun and they did get really close to the boat so it turned out OK.

Overall, we had a good time…nothing “OH MY GOD” great, but a good time. So if you’re looking for some tips on Kiawah, here are my thoughts, in bullet form to make it easier to follow:

  • Once you’re on the island, you’re ON the island. It’s about a 25 mile ride back to civilization if you want to find a restaurant NOT run by the resort. The closest city is Charleston, S.C.
  • Lots of nature! This was the coolest thing. I saw a deer on the beach, a family of five raccoons, tons of different kinds of birds, up-close dolphins, gators and more!
  • If you don’t play golf, I hope you like laying out, or walking on the beach, cuz that’s about all there is to do. Oh sure, you could rent a bike and sweat it out on the bike trails, but really…when I got out of the water, I wanted to stay dry, not get all hot and sweaty hoofing it across the island.
  • Crikey it was hot! 105 heat index most days
  • Everyone we met on the staff was exceptionally friendly and helpful.

If you’ve been to Hilton Head, then this is kinda like that, except maybe a bit more remote, and a lot less diversity from a dining and activities standpoint. It’s also, for a “family vacation” destination, kinda boring. I mean, at the main pool (Blue Heron pool), there was only one hour of organized games. During this time the only music played was the same tape consisting of old “Alabama” and “Lynard Skynard” tracks. I mean honestly, I’ve seen better activities organization at the YMCA (“…we love to stay at the Y.M.C.A hey…”).

It’s also a LOT more expensive than Hilton Head, but I’m not counting that, because my family’s happiness is worth any price tag.

Riiiiggghhhttttt!

Let the photo montage begin:

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A doe, A deer…

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A gator.

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Um..a shark?

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The happy couple!

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

You lookin’ at me?

Me LamazeI don’t try to be a mean looking person, and in fact, despite years of purposefully ignoring people around me when I’m at the gym, the mall, the grocery store, etc., I’m pretty sure I’m about the least mean looking person on the planet–except for maybe Mike Myers (of SNL, not Halloween cuz that dudes’ creepy!).

One thing I’ve noticed though, since having kids and since I’ve started hanging around kid-populated places, is that I attract kids like a flea to a heating pad wrapped around a glass bottle with fly tape wrapped around it (try it if you ever have a flea problem; it works!).

For instance, this past week at the pool, no fewer than three kids latched onto me like I was their daddy, or some long lost uncle who was about to kick the bucket and had $100 million to divide up in my will. Happened today again at the soft play area at the mall. I was on the floor trying to give MLE some attention and another little boy got right in my face and just stared at me with this little half smile.

And for some reason, I always feel weird when this happens. And not in a “Hey look everyone! I’m about to molest this child” kinda weird, but more like, “Why is this kid talking to me like he/she knows me and what are his/her parents thinking about me right now?”

It creeps me out…yeah, in a “Halloween” Michael Myers kinda way!

I can’t figure out if it’s just that these kids’ parents are off gabbing away with their homeys and not paying their children any attention and so the kid latches onto the first semi-friendly adult face they can find, or if maybe I smell like vanilla and spice like one of those Lamaze Octotunes thingies and it just drives the chillun wild!

Now if I was a really religious person, I might think, “Hey maybe the LORD is trying to tell me something,” but then I remember the old saying that the Lord would never give a person more than they can handle, and I know for certain the Lord is NOT telling me to be a full-time teacher, or child care-giver or anything of that nature because I’m quite certain I could not handle that.

But, is it just me? Does this happen to you too?

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

At this point, the 8 hour drive home sounds like bliss…

golden arches I owe that great big, yellow and red clown at McDonalds an apology!

For years I have derided McDonalds for their fast food ways; their McNuggets that honestly aren’t any better now that they are “all white meat” than they were before 60 Minutes got ahold of them; and for their greasy fare that just never seemed to be something that any health-conscious person would ever, in a million years, consider eating for any reason other than a life or death situation.

But then, I had kids.

And then we wanted to go on vacation with said kids.

And then, after three hours in the car, said kids were driving mom and dad batty and needed to exercise.

What is a parent to do?

Oh looky! Is that a McDonalds with an indoor playground? Holy Cow! Stop NOW!

And that is the wellspring from whence my repentance flows. And be darned if McDonalds doesn’t have some gloriously sweet tea!

And it was good–for about 30 minutes until dad’s “schedule” reigned supreme and he forced them all back in the car for the rest of the trip to Kiawah Island, SC, where he would spend the next few days slapping 50 SPF sunscreen on his wonderfully 35-year old body, while schlepping sand-laden plasty-crap back and forth from the beach to the condo and back again; all the while praying to the gods (whichever ones rule over beach vacations) that the boys would sleep soundly at night allowing mom and dad to relax for a few minutes.

But someone remind me again how, after the first day, when you’re tired of the beach and you’re spending the bulk of the time in the A/C in the condo, or at the pool, how this is better than going to your neighborhood pool and relaxing in your own home where a half gallon of skim milk doesn’t cost an arm and a leg? Tell me again how that works?

Categories
Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

Doing our Best

“Dude, I’m so much better a father than you are.”

Ever catch yourself saying that in your head? Is it usually when you’re out and about and see some dad doing something that you would never in a million years do to your kids?

I gotta admit that I do this a good bit. I know, I know…it’s egotistical, it’s obnoxious, and worst of all, it’s probably not even true.

What I have to remind myself, is that I have no idea of the events leading up to the moment I just witnessed. That dad might be a single father struggling to hold down a job and keep his kids happy and well-fed. Or, maybe the kids have just been real bastards for the last hour and a half and what I witnessed was his last straw after an hour and a half of patience and honest-to-goodness trying.

As an example, at a recent gathering of the in-laws, my BIL brought his daughter over without his wife. He walked into the house (he’s also an in-law), grabbed one of the hamburgers I had made especially for MY family (everyone else was having Pork Loin…on Memorial Day!) and sat down and started to eat without hardly a word of greeting to anyone. Then, when everyone was finished, while I was off watching my two boys destroy the house, along with his 3-year old daughter, he sat there at the table as if she didn’t exist, letting others take care of his kid for him.

At the time, I was pretty darn ticked. The NERVE of him coming over and doing that.

But then later, I had to remind myself that his wife is at home, overdue pregnant and she is no easy person to live with (by my standards) under normal circumstances. Just recently, she “made” him check the family into a local hotel the other night because she was “just over waiting on this baby” and they all needed a change of scenery. This also means he’s doing the lion’s share of everything around the house, including taking care of their daughter. So maybe I can’t begrudge him a little downtime and thoughtless feasting.

But I think it’s healthy to compare ourselves to others sometimes. If we’re really being honest, it can lead to improvements in our own day-to-day. And just as I have to cut other guys some slack, I try and do the same for myself. I’m not perfect—heck, I’m not even “pretty darn good.” I’m just me and I’m doing the best I can while juggling flaming swords and cantaloupes.

Be safe on the road this summer gents, and have fun!

(NOTE TO ALL: I will be suffering, having a blast with the family at the beach this week. Might drag the old laptop along, but dunno if I’ll have time for any posts. Don’t stop reading. Check back often. I’ll update when I can!)

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