Well it’s summertime and weather is fine…

I think I’ve taken this whole, “Only post when you feel like it thing” too far. I mean, I haven’t posted in what, two weeks?

But seriously, we’re slowly moving into Summer, which means routine, which means BORING! Already, I’m dreading the heat. I’m dreading having to drag down to the pool and spend an hour and a half holding a splashy youngster while alternately worrying about my love handles. I’m dreading the kids wanting to go do fun things like the water park, and my wanting so badly to tell them no because I know that, during the summer, the water parks in and around Atlanta are inundated with fairly disgusting people who, rather than spending money on vitamins and fluoride rinse, instead spend it on Big Macs and theme park tickets.

I’m dreading all of the many “to do” lists I have and no time to do them.

I’m dreading needing to go visit family in various places, but not wanting to pack the car up with kids again.

imageOh, I’m definitely dreading our upcoming beach trip this weekend! We’re heading down to Orange Beach, AL to stay at the Fabulous “Phoenix onthe Bay” condos. Yep, 377 miles of youth-oriented goodness…and then back again.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, it’s my quarterly depression! I swear it’s like I have “the PMS” or something. Have I ever mentioned that I have serious issues living in the moment. Yeah. I can’t ever seem to immerse myself in “the now” because I can’t stop thinking about the consequences later.
For instance:

  • “This cake is yummy, but I’d better not have too much or I’ll have to exercise extra hard later”

OR

  • “Man, I’d really like to go golfing today, but that means that when I get back, and I’m dog-tired, CareerMom will want to get out of the house and I’ll have to play with the kids.”

OR

  • “It would sure be nice to sit on the back porch and drink a glass of wine and watch the bats, but then it’ll be late when I come to bed and I really need some time to just lay there before falling asleep.”

OR (and this is perhaps the worst one ever, or the best depending on how you look at it)

  • “Sweetheart, if you’re having second thoughts about our engagement, I totally understand. I know being in college is supposed to be one of the best times of your life and, I don’t want to take that away from you. Wait…what? You want to break up? What tha…!

I know, idiotic right? That’s me in all my screwed up glory and God Bless CareerMom for living with it. But with all the depressing news, I’d like to take a moment and mention a couple of positives:

  1. My sister, who had a cyst on her ovaries (I’m pretty sure that’s right, but if not, trust me, I’ll get corrected) had a healthy baby boy early yesterday morning. Both mom and baby Ryan are fine. Woot! I’m an uncle again! (or am I a “half-uncle” since she is my half-sister?) Damn!
  2. Pre-K is almost out for the summer, which means that once it’s over, we’re moving the boys to their new summer camp/daycare location that is much, much closer to home! Yaaaay!
  3. MLE has pee-peed on the potty this week. Hey, that IS a big deal. When you start cleaning poopy diapers that are as nasty as anything an adult would do, you get excited over these little milestones!
  4. I still have a job!
  5. I still have my relative health AND God still loves me and my family

There. How’d I do? Did I balance out all the negativity?

At this point, the 8 hour drive home sounds like bliss…

golden arches I owe that great big, yellow and red clown at McDonalds an apology!

For years I have derided McDonalds for their fast food ways; their McNuggets that honestly aren’t any better now that they are “all white meat” than they were before 60 Minutes got ahold of them; and for their greasy fare that just never seemed to be something that any health-conscious person would ever, in a million years, consider eating for any reason other than a life or death situation.

But then, I had kids.

And then we wanted to go on vacation with said kids.

And then, after three hours in the car, said kids were driving mom and dad batty and needed to exercise.

What is a parent to do?

Oh looky! Is that a McDonalds with an indoor playground? Holy Cow! Stop NOW!

And that is the wellspring from whence my repentance flows. And be darned if McDonalds doesn’t have some gloriously sweet tea!

And it was good–for about 30 minutes until dad’s “schedule” reigned supreme and he forced them all back in the car for the rest of the trip to Kiawah Island, SC, where he would spend the next few days slapping 50 SPF sunscreen on his wonderfully 35-year old body, while schlepping sand-laden plasty-crap back and forth from the beach to the condo and back again; all the while praying to the gods (whichever ones rule over beach vacations) that the boys would sleep soundly at night allowing mom and dad to relax for a few minutes.

But someone remind me again how, after the first day, when you’re tired of the beach and you’re spending the bulk of the time in the A/C in the condo, or at the pool, how this is better than going to your neighborhood pool and relaxing in your own home where a half gallon of skim milk doesn’t cost an arm and a leg? Tell me again how that works?