Category: Dad Blogs

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Dad Blogs Family

I’m apparently on a "gender" kick

elephantsHave you ever wondered where the phrases, “Daddy’s little girl” and “Momma’s boy” came from? And isn’t it strange that “Momma’s Boy” sounds derogatory, while “Daddy’s little girl” sounds all sugary sweet. Cripes! Even at that young age, we’re putting gender roles on our kids!

Anyway, regardless of the origin, there does appear to be some truth to them.

Before we had kids, if you’d asked myself or CareerMom what gender of kids we’d like to have and in what quantity, I think we’d have both said, “At least one boy and one girl.” That didn’t happen, and we’re probably done having kids so it’s two boys for us and we’re very happy with that.

But…

I’ve watched my two sons grow and I’ve watched how my wife’s expectations for them has changed from when they were little and it got me wondering about my own expectations for our children and I realized that, when I DID dream of having kids, whenever I really thought about how I would raise my child(ren), I almost always did so with the picture of a little girl in my head.

Stick around, it gets worse.

I can’t speak for what goes on in women’s heads, but for me, and from the actions of many of the guys I know, it seems that a lot us guys dream of raising this beautiful little girl that we’ll fawn affection over and that we’ll hug and love and protect…hmmm, protect. Now that’s interesting. Most of the manly men that I know, myself included, are fiercely possessive AND protective of the women in their life. It’s a natural instinct–possibly even as strong as that “motherly instinct” we all hear so much about. But nobody talks about men’s natural instincts, but they are there. Don’t get me wrong, I adore my boys, but I gotta admit that I don’t feel terribly “protective” over them when they’re going about their daily activities.

– When they wrestle, as long as they aren’t near a sharp corner somewhere, I generally don’t worry about it.

– I encourage them to play in the rain.

– Wanna go fast down the hill on your bike? Eh…have fun.

With my boys, I don’t have any expectations…I just want them to grow up and be happy.

CareerMom on the other hand, has had to make some adjustments. I can’t tell you how many baseball hats she’s bought the boys in the vain hope that they’ll start wearing them. She has this idealistic picture in her head of a boy in a baseball uniform, and so far, it’s been a major disappointment for her.

She wants to see them dressed up in church clothes, sitting quietly for a picture. Hasn’t happened.

She wants them to just sit in her lap and enjoy being cuddled. Uh uh. Nothing doing!

Now, I know she would love to have a little girl that she could dress up and put little pigtails in her hair, but those dice weren’t rolled for us, so I don’t know what her expectations would have been; although, from my experience, most little girls these days aren’t terribly tolerant of all that attention either.

I just find it interesting how, at least in my experience, each gender seems to have greater expectations for children of the opposite sex. Maybe it’s just an experiential thing, or maybe it’s a natural desire to mold a young person into one’s own ideal of perfection (oooh, now that could be hitting very close to the truth).

Something to think about and maybe share your own thoughts…

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Dad Blogs Family

I know what I did this summer

KiawahThose of you who follow my blog at all, know I was on vacation last week. I’ve personally e-mailed a couple of you, but I’ve thus far not really posted anything about my vacation because…well, it was kinda ho-hum and boring really and I wasn’t sure how to spin it to make it a riveting read.

But then I figured, “Hey, maybe my experience will help others decide where to/not to go on vacation.” So based on that, here’s my vacation synopsis, complete with familial and experiential pics at the bottom (Note: This is the first time I’ve posted pics of myself, so don’t pass up this opportunity to deride and guffaw!)

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A lady CareerMom works with suggested an island in S.C. called “Kiawah, Island.” It’s run by some resorty place and it’s billed as a golf resort, which is its primary draw. With four uber-expensive golf courses and approximately 6 miles of sandy beach to play on, it offers something for dad to do while mom and the kids play, or…it offers something for mom to do at the spa while Dad and the kids play…or it offers something for the whole family to do while both mom AND dad play with the kids when dad pulls his shoulder just prior to the trip and mom, for whatever reason, fails to book a spa day far enough in advance.

To start, I was not looking forward to the drive based on our previous beach trip the year before, but we let the kids play all morning before packing them in the car on Monday and overall, it really wasn’t a bad trip. We arrived in time for a bit of play on the beach that evening and then it was inside to figure out how we were going to set up the sleeping arrangements so that nobody woke anyone else up should they be having a bad night.

Sleep wasn’t so great the first night. MLE woke up around 3 a.m. and didn’t want to go back to sleep, so none of us got much rest. Tuesday was all beach, all day. I also got some surf-fishing in, catching some Sea Trout, while the kids and CareerMom played in the sand.

By Tuesday evening, we’d discovered the bathwater-warm pool and we probably spent the bulk of our remaining daylight hours there, since quite frankly, both CareerMom and I can only take so much beach! The sleeping arrangements sorted themselves out and though we were generally up by 5-5:30 a.m. each morning, we slept pretty well up until then.

We also did a Dolphin tour thingy, on a small boat with just our family. It was run by some tanned, good-looking naturalist type, who probably drives a solar-powered Prius and who, I’m pretty sure, was blowing some serious smoke up our butts about how much fun the dolphins are around them sometimes, since we didn’t even see any dolphins till halfway through the trip. But, it was fun and they did get really close to the boat so it turned out OK.

Overall, we had a good time…nothing “OH MY GOD” great, but a good time. So if you’re looking for some tips on Kiawah, here are my thoughts, in bullet form to make it easier to follow:

  • Once you’re on the island, you’re ON the island. It’s about a 25 mile ride back to civilization if you want to find a restaurant NOT run by the resort. The closest city is Charleston, S.C.
  • Lots of nature! This was the coolest thing. I saw a deer on the beach, a family of five raccoons, tons of different kinds of birds, up-close dolphins, gators and more!
  • If you don’t play golf, I hope you like laying out, or walking on the beach, cuz that’s about all there is to do. Oh sure, you could rent a bike and sweat it out on the bike trails, but really…when I got out of the water, I wanted to stay dry, not get all hot and sweaty hoofing it across the island.
  • Crikey it was hot! 105 heat index most days
  • Everyone we met on the staff was exceptionally friendly and helpful.

If you’ve been to Hilton Head, then this is kinda like that, except maybe a bit more remote, and a lot less diversity from a dining and activities standpoint. It’s also, for a “family vacation” destination, kinda boring. I mean, at the main pool (Blue Heron pool), there was only one hour of organized games. During this time the only music played was the same tape consisting of old “Alabama” and “Lynard Skynard” tracks. I mean honestly, I’ve seen better activities organization at the YMCA (“…we love to stay at the Y.M.C.A hey…”).

It’s also a LOT more expensive than Hilton Head, but I’m not counting that, because my family’s happiness is worth any price tag.

Riiiiggghhhttttt!

Let the photo montage begin:

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A doe, A deer…

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A gator.

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Um..a shark?

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The happy couple!

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

You lookin’ at me?

Me LamazeI don’t try to be a mean looking person, and in fact, despite years of purposefully ignoring people around me when I’m at the gym, the mall, the grocery store, etc., I’m pretty sure I’m about the least mean looking person on the planet–except for maybe Mike Myers (of SNL, not Halloween cuz that dudes’ creepy!).

One thing I’ve noticed though, since having kids and since I’ve started hanging around kid-populated places, is that I attract kids like a flea to a heating pad wrapped around a glass bottle with fly tape wrapped around it (try it if you ever have a flea problem; it works!).

For instance, this past week at the pool, no fewer than three kids latched onto me like I was their daddy, or some long lost uncle who was about to kick the bucket and had $100 million to divide up in my will. Happened today again at the soft play area at the mall. I was on the floor trying to give MLE some attention and another little boy got right in my face and just stared at me with this little half smile.

And for some reason, I always feel weird when this happens. And not in a “Hey look everyone! I’m about to molest this child” kinda weird, but more like, “Why is this kid talking to me like he/she knows me and what are his/her parents thinking about me right now?”

It creeps me out…yeah, in a “Halloween” Michael Myers kinda way!

I can’t figure out if it’s just that these kids’ parents are off gabbing away with their homeys and not paying their children any attention and so the kid latches onto the first semi-friendly adult face they can find, or if maybe I smell like vanilla and spice like one of those Lamaze Octotunes thingies and it just drives the chillun wild!

Now if I was a really religious person, I might think, “Hey maybe the LORD is trying to tell me something,” but then I remember the old saying that the Lord would never give a person more than they can handle, and I know for certain the Lord is NOT telling me to be a full-time teacher, or child care-giver or anything of that nature because I’m quite certain I could not handle that.

But, is it just me? Does this happen to you too?

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Dad Blogs Family Fatherhood

At this point, the 8 hour drive home sounds like bliss…

golden arches I owe that great big, yellow and red clown at McDonalds an apology!

For years I have derided McDonalds for their fast food ways; their McNuggets that honestly aren’t any better now that they are “all white meat” than they were before 60 Minutes got ahold of them; and for their greasy fare that just never seemed to be something that any health-conscious person would ever, in a million years, consider eating for any reason other than a life or death situation.

But then, I had kids.

And then we wanted to go on vacation with said kids.

And then, after three hours in the car, said kids were driving mom and dad batty and needed to exercise.

What is a parent to do?

Oh looky! Is that a McDonalds with an indoor playground? Holy Cow! Stop NOW!

And that is the wellspring from whence my repentance flows. And be darned if McDonalds doesn’t have some gloriously sweet tea!

And it was good–for about 30 minutes until dad’s “schedule” reigned supreme and he forced them all back in the car for the rest of the trip to Kiawah Island, SC, where he would spend the next few days slapping 50 SPF sunscreen on his wonderfully 35-year old body, while schlepping sand-laden plasty-crap back and forth from the beach to the condo and back again; all the while praying to the gods (whichever ones rule over beach vacations) that the boys would sleep soundly at night allowing mom and dad to relax for a few minutes.

But someone remind me again how, after the first day, when you’re tired of the beach and you’re spending the bulk of the time in the A/C in the condo, or at the pool, how this is better than going to your neighborhood pool and relaxing in your own home where a half gallon of skim milk doesn’t cost an arm and a leg? Tell me again how that works?